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Teen Poetry #5

Ideal Love

Roberta Little
Junior Member

since 2001-12-18

Posts 42
beloit wi usa

0 posted 2002-04-10 11:04 AM

I look at us;
At where we stand,
And I wonder...
I wonder what the future has in store.
Where will we be
Five years from now
Or even two?
Idealy we'd be together,
Our relationship growing stronger
By the day.
But then again
That would be
Idealy.
An ideal world...
That's what we all want.
I wish it's what we had,
Unfortunitly it's not.
Things aren't perfict,
They never can be...
But still I suppose
We could try and fool ourselves...
But it wouldn't last long.
Illusions never do.
So where do we stand?
Together,
United,
And happy?
Far apart,
Desolate,
And lonely?
I hope not.
And it seems that for the most part
That what holds us together is...
Our love for each other.
Which is made of all our
Hopes and dreams personified.
Or is love an illusion too?
No,
It couldn't be,
Or couples would never last.
Love must be real,
Therefore I know where we will stand...
Together,
United,
And happy.
Forever.

GOD's greatist gift is LOVE

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

1 posted 2002-04-10 11:43 AM

I too sometimes look off into the future and try to see what things will be right but only time will tell. Great poem

Nicely done!! I enjoyed reading it!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

2 posted 2002-04-11 02:18 AM

A very pukka piece.

While at times a bit long, and somewhat... labored, it was a much enjyoed piece. If perhaps you could combine some of the lines? Compact it a bit. The message is great! I loved how you took us through the entire journey of your thoughts.

"And it seems that for the most part
That what holds us together is...
Our love for each other."

Much enjoyed.

~
Titus

"Tesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter"

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