Teen Poetry #5 |
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Abandoning your yuppie penguins |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
You may need to read this: /pip/Forum40/HTML/000914.html Twas a frigid night that April When this penguin took the dive Into the icy waters of this sea In order to survive See it seems this place was sinking Into oblivious destruction And older penguins kept swimming through pools of obstruction They said they did not like What their home had become Overgrown with yuppie penguins They began to succumb With last words of morality They abandoned us with hopes That we would sink our home soon and not be able to float I won’t leave us to drown I’ll carry them all as I swim Because someone did that to you once Didn’t flee when the world got grim So I’ll plunge into these icy waters To save the lives of others Where are your penguin morals Don’t you love your young brothers Looks like some penguins lost their way Its a shame that these elders had to leave To bad they came to hate their home to think that we are all naïve We know that we’re very young In our penguin adolescence But I won’t watch my home sink While sitting in acquiescence I am somewhat afraid of controversy...but hey if this got my muse to work again, then I must post it...it is also how I feel. Say what you will about my intentions its just something I wrote and wanted feedback on> ~lISA [This message has been edited by LCBS (04-06-2002 12:46 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Lisa Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
PoetryIsLife![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
DAMN. I love it! Not merely the message... which is a good one. But the way you took an idea, and just went BAM! with it. It's awesome! The picture you paint is so clear, and imagenative! ![]() Love the stanzas, the flow, the length, the feel of it. Pukka, baby! ![]() ~ Titus "Tesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter" |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is great! Your muse was truly kicked in the butt here! I read Zu's post and your poem echoed it. I hope to see more from you. ![]() |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
LoL Lisa!! Great job!!! What a great idea ![]() iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf.. |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
It caught my eye at first because I love penguins, but also because the title looked interesting. So I read and I'm very glad I did. I love the message you present with this poem. It's very interesting how you expressed yourself with this poem. Well done. Thanks for posting DE "I never claimed to be your savior |
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quietlydying![]() ![]()
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
i love the way you responded to zu in a poem. heh. it's great. and his grrrrrr... i shouldn't even get into it, but i can't stand people who are so full of themselves. ::cough cough zu:: or at least think they're so much better than everyone else. but i just didn't feel like making a big deal out of it. meh. great job lisa. /jen/ so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3 |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hey Lisa, awesome poem!! I just want to point out that it wasn't because of him being 'full of himself' that he left... there are other reasons which I won't go into. Nevertheless, excellent poem! Can't wait to read more! I am a geek!! |
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PoetryIsLife![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
*poke* Sky, email me. ![]() ~ Titus "Tesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter" |
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quietlydying![]() ![]()
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
oh no, i'm aware of the 'other reasons'. it's just that his 'leaving thread' was rather disgusting. or at least so i found it to be. the way he spoke gave the impression that he feels he's better than everyone else around here. he seems to act as if he's more intelligent, a more talented writer, and so on. it's pretty (edit) annoying if you ask me. just because he's been here longer than most people. he was acting as if he was god. /jen/ so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3 [This message has been edited by vlraynes (04-10-2002 11:37 PM).] |
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Marshalzu![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Hehe thank you for such a wonderful reminder of what Teen Poetry should be about ![]() Tell all your friends, your neighbours too, CNN, BBC World News, tell all your friends about Mr Zu |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Wow... VERY cool. I really liked this, very well written. Awesome message, too. Good job and nice to see that your muse is back on the job. - Cody - |
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