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Teen Poetry #5

The Villain in your eyes

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

0 posted 2002-03-31 08:19 PM

Would you please stop that evil spirit
That Villain
That Demon
He is dwelling in your cool blues eyes
Igniting them in a fierce crimson
He is capturing my soul
And locking it away
In your mind
In your soul
In your eyes
Those blank eyes
That Icy stare
I’m captivated
I’m mesmerized
I’m soulless
I’m gone
Lost to the villain in your eyes
I was told to try and escape my old, boring style, I hope this is alright....I dont really like it, but then again I'm never satisfied with my work

~Lisa

To everything there is a season...

Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

1 posted 2002-03-31 09:04 PM

No one is always satisfied with their own
work, but one thing is for sure we can
be pleased with others and I liked this.
It was something new and you did it really
well. Good Job!

Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial)

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

2 posted 2002-03-31 10:10 PM

You broke away well from your "boring style". Keep experimenting, as it's the only way to become a better poet (yeah like I should talk

)

I am a geek!!

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2002-04-03 01:18 AM

And who told u to do that lisa? Your style is wonderful and if you choose to experiment with other things then thats fine too. I liked this a lot as well as your other "boring" pieces of work...dont be silly girl!! ur stuff rocks!!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

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