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Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109


0 posted 2002-03-26 06:37 PM


I still remember her.
I can see her red hair,
her brown eyes,
her big smile.
She was beautiful.
I thought so, anyway.
I measure beautiful differently then most though,
I suppose.
I remember how she made me happy.
For that,
she was beautiful to me.

I remember she made me feel worth something,
I remember that when I was with her I was happy.
I would have given anything
to spend time with her.

I also remember she was depressed.
I remember worrying about her.
I can still feel the depression
I seemed to catch from her.
It seemed to be contagious.

I am so loyal it's a curse,
and I feel everything my friends do.
When she was depressed,
I was depressed.
She was always depressed
so when I was with her,
so was I.
When I wasn't with her,
I was depressed,
because I missed the feeling of worth
she always gave me,
the depression was nothing,
I could take it if I knew I had worth.

She became like a drug to me,
and I was addicted.
I was unable to leave her,
so enraptured by her,
captivated by the love she gave me.
Yet, I knew I should leave.
I knew I was being hurt,
twisted,
by spending time with her,
malleable and vulnerable as I was.
My loyalty though,
kept me by her side,
even when she tried to be rid of me.

She disappeared over the summer.
I wasn't sure how to go on with life
without her to lead me,
without her love
to remind me I was worth something.

I never saw her again,
and I wonder,
"Is she alive, or dead?"

I know now how unhealthy
our friendship was.
I know how it hurt me,
twisted me,
changed me and stole my innocence.

I still remember her.
I can see her red hair,
her brown eyes,
her big smile.
She was beautiful.
I miss her more than I can say,
because despite her depression,
I loved her,
and I still do.

[This message has been edited by Kielo (03-26-2002 06:54 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Jeremiah Leonard - All Rights Reserved
Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

1 posted 2002-03-26 06:42 PM


I wrote this while looking at the little white box, not on paper, so please, if it sucks, tell me. The little white box doesn't like me, but I felt compelled to write, so I did. Talk to you later all!
LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
2 posted 2002-03-26 08:03 PM


This was one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read, especially the last stanza.  The little white box has been kind to you....

I'm sorry you were hurt, unfortunatly, pain is inevitable....I hope your wounds heal over time...


~Lisa

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

3 posted 2002-03-27 12:00 PM


Well, thank you. I guess my emotions are stronger than the little white box's evilness... Ok, that wasn't particularly funny... Thank you very much. I was worried no one would read it because its so long... And yes, pain is inevitable. That's one thing I've learned in high school, although why I never figured that out in grade 3 is something I don't understand.

I'll be fine. I cope. It's all anyone can do, right?

I hate this poem. It depresses me...

I talk too much. Bye...

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
4 posted 2002-03-27 12:37 PM


This is a good poem. And I know how a person can become an addiction only to drag you down. I loved someone that way for 2 years and I am only now getting over it. You are better off without it, let me tell you. Really good poem
Jon

"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur
"Sometimes it takes a painful loss to realize you are free"- Bouncing Souls

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

5 posted 2002-03-27 05:32 PM


Thank you. And I know how bad it was and I know I'm better off without her... but I miss her anyway. Nothing will change that, not now, probably not ever...
xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2002-03-27 06:07 PM


The important thing out of all of this is  now your in a healthy position in your life and everythings gonna be ok..but i do know what you mean about being sucked in to your friends feelings

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

laconic
Member
since 2002-02-17
Posts 64
Melbourne, Australia
7 posted 2002-03-29 07:26 AM


i cant relate to any of that.. well i can... but in a really bizzare way.
Anyway just thought i'd let ya kno.. this the first time i've read your stuff and i'll be keeping an eye out for later posts....t'was very hot. keep up the great writing

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
8 posted 2002-03-29 11:08 PM


This is a wonderful write!  This is the first thing I've read from you also (haven't been here for a while), and it's great.  I can relate to everything you say, depression is contagious.  Being a loyal friend is a nice thing to do, but it exacts it's price.  I've been through this too, all I can say is I'm sorry, man.  No one should have to go through that.
I just thought of this, a song,  that fits the sittuation.  It's "Could It Be Any Harder," by The Calling, of their Album Camino Palmero.  I was listening to it, and it reminded me of this poem.  Well, thats just my oppinion.  I''ll let you guys decide.

After Love comes Pain, then Love, Then Pain, then Love, then Pain..... does anyone else see a pattern here?  Oh well, can't say it's not worth it.

[This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (03-29-2002 11:28 PM).]

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