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Teen Poetry #5

Just part of your Plot

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2002-03-17 07:39 PM

With you off my back,
I feel lighter now.
Without that burden of worry,
Worrying about whether you’d cheat or not.

Now that I know the answer,
It doesn’t seem to matter.
You were never trustable,
Like you asked to be caught.

I can’t believe you,
I can’t believe you’d go that low.
What you did was wrong,
You didn’t really love me; I was just part of the plot.

~If u luv something, let it go,if it comes back 2 u, its urs, if it doesnt, it never wuz..~DMX

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

1 posted 2002-03-17 07:46 PM

i really like the subject in this one and i can really see where you're going with it.

however will you allow me to be a little analretentive for two seconds?

i think the word you were looking for was trustworthy - as opposed to trustable.

other than that i like.

/jen/

so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

2 posted 2002-03-18 12:34 PM

Very cool. I think I'm running out of things to say... its too early in the morning... Yep. Its 9:36. That's too early on spring break. *goes back to bed*

Oops. *clicks the submit button, then goes back to bed*

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