betty - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #5

betty

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

0 posted 2002-03-17 07:22 PM

Puree between
the chipped and broken bone.
cracklepopandgrind.
Hollowing out
with a
rusty ice pick
and a
molded personality.

I wish I could step you down.

/jen/

so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

1 posted 2002-03-17 08:17 PM

reading it over, i realised it does need a lot of work. i shouldn't have posted it yet.

sorry.

but what do you think so far?

/gwen/ [read the discussion board, heh]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

2 posted 2002-04-05 12:10 PM

Gwen-
Actually, I rather like it.
I don't really think you HAVE to do anything more with it.
That's up to you, of course, but I like it as it is.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.