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Teen Poetry #5
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Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2002-03-12 08:57 PM



Everything was going just right,
And suddenly you turned and ran.
Away form me and straight to her,
Now you’re with her, and now you’re her man.

What went wrong?
Can you at least tell me that?
I wanna know what I did,
Where did we go wrong at?

I don’t know what I did,
Or how this I turned you away.
Was it something I did?
What can I say to help you stay?

~If u luv something, let it go,if it comes back 2 u, its urs, if it doesnt, it never wuz..~DMX

© Copyright 2002 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved
Android 18
Member
since 2002-02-20
Posts 61
Austrailia (My DreamLand)
1 posted 2002-03-12 09:06 PM


I liked how you started it, but I found it too short.
I hope my comment was helpful.
~*~Serena~*~

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
2 posted 2002-03-13 03:40 AM


awwwwww...sometimes we're left wondering what to do....so many questions and so little answers...*hugs* i hope things turn out ok for you...glad youre posting again too

Zombie

Torn are her limbs
By quiet hands that
Tug life(color) out of her.
Gnawing edges round
Into a broken(satisfying)
Shadow

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
3 posted 2002-03-13 10:00 AM


An incredibly sad poem, I know what it's like to be in that kind of situation and it really was not the happiest time of my life so I can empthaise with you. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.

Andrew

"The pin didn't drop it came and crashed down"

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
4 posted 2002-03-13 04:07 PM


Thanx all 4 the replies, they were much appreciated.

~If u luv something, let it go,if it comes back 2 u, its urs, if it doesnt, it never wuz..~DMX

peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
5 posted 2002-03-14 08:58 PM


good poem..once agen..lol..hehe keep writing! lylan ~Jess

~*~Never take anything for granted~*~

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2002-03-15 11:45 AM


Aww hunny im shur you didnt do n e thing If he cant see how wonderful  you are then he doesnt deserve to be with you

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

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