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xEmperorEmber
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 136
tx

0 posted 2002-03-11 06:23 PM

i see it
twitching with angst
and why cant i just let you die
feeding you in this state
half atrophy half awake
keeping you yet still beside me
till you grant me a familiar sign
a final breath
a movement slower than the rest
or nothing at all
the agony of animation engages your muscles
as your skeleton struggles for the recognition of life
these seizure like impulses sinking into further withdrawals
its not looking as good as i hoped, blending night and day
till i cant decipher
this rigormortis stance resembling the life once in you
fools me into thinking its all okay
praying for one more twitch
a fluttering nerve
a greeting for the conscious
just for one out of a billion neuron to collide with that of another
for the sake of movement
a final sign
a definite note
to make this not worth watching
to justify my turning away
slipping into this final undertow
just let me know when you go
as not to mistake your comatose movements for life
but leave it at the fault of our machines

[This message has been edited by xEmperorEmber (03-11-2002 09:22 PM).]

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

1 posted 2002-03-12 12:34 PM

i'm sorry bour youe loss good poem nice emmotion.

i am me don't tell me different!!
JEFF IS ONE HOT STUD *RAWR*
i want him *DROOLZ*
dam hes hott!!!

xEmperorEmber
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 136
tx

2 posted 2002-03-12 01:23 AM

thanks for the condolences, not to take away from the poem because i designed it to be applied to other peoples lives, but i got the inspiration from trying to save a wasp that stung me... he was dying on my neck and i was unaware till he stung me, then i just tried to keep him alive, i melted sugar into water and fed it and just watched it, but it died anyway after a couple of hours, and then it fell off my desk and i crushed its body with my bare foot just for the irony of it, for that "final sign" making its fluids evaporate that much faster leaving its remnents in my carpet. Hows that for inspiration? I hope some one can apply this poem to their own life, taking my stupidity and make it mean something.

Carly Maas
Junior Member

since 2000-04-21

Posts 23
Garden City, MI, USA

3 posted 2002-03-12 07:50 PM

Wow....that's all I can say. This poem is great. And you wrote it with such great detail. I love it.

"One day you'll love me as I onced loved you,
one day you'll cry over me, as I once cried over
you, and one day you'll want me but I won't want you.

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

4 posted 2002-03-13 04:30 AM

"these seizure like impulses sinking into further withdrawals
its not looking as good as i hoped, blending night and day
till i cant decipher
this rigormortis stance resembling the life once in you"

wow!! bloody marvelous! im loving this one....i could picture the wasp slowly dying....fitting and twitching before becoming still.
wasp stings hurt *oww!*....but this poem rock...VERY well done here, i enjoyed this to no ends!

Zombie

Torn are her limbs
By quiet hands that
Tug life(color) out of her.
Gnawing edges round
Into a broken(satisfying)
Shadow

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

5 posted 2002-03-17 10:21 AM

God... people suck. I hate them, Paul.

Anywho... I love this... as usual. Can't you ever write anything that sucks? lol... you'd probably still get your wows and greats.

Cats are such funny little people... I wish I was a cat. Would you pet me and let me sleep on your bed and eat your chicken and tuna fish? *purrs*

Love ya Paul... but you already knew that.

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