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Teen Poetry #5
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laconic
Member
since 2002-02-17
Posts 64
Melbourne, Australia

0 posted 2002-03-10 08:55 AM


An open slate

dissipitates

i'm wracked with thoughtless thoughts

that contain hate thoughts of retaliate

if only i had a figure to hold to a burning stake

would i still be so blue?

to release and unsheath pain is that what i choose?

i dont know...

all said and done, i just dont know

i need relief, re-establishment of my beliefs

i need time, but i want it now

how can i stay patient, when theres so much to do

this situations gone, outta, over, through my head.. "so long"

what the hell is going on?

can somebody tell me? whats wrong with me? somebody help me!

i'm at a crossroad, with no road

my tales stopped still mostly untold

and what can i do? damn.... what do i do?


[This message has been edited by SEA (03-10-2002 01:52 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Luke Zhang - All Rights Reserved
Lennon2002
Junior Member
since 2002-01-10
Posts 31
The wV
1 posted 2002-03-10 01:35 PM


I like this style

~Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted.~ John Lennon
~I don't believe in death because I'm ready for it- John Lennon

LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
2 posted 2002-03-10 01:42 PM


I really liked it, but I'm not quite sure what to say, at some points it seemed comedic, and at some points it seemed like a cry for help.  Maybe thats good, maybe Im weird, or maybe both!  Great Job!


~Lisa

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
3 posted 2002-03-10 08:44 PM


I don't know what to say... I like it definately, but I don't quite know what you were trying to get across. That's okay though!

I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2002-03-10 11:26 PM


I enjoyed this bunches!! Keep up the great work!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

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