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Ree Ree
Member

since 2001-06-28

Posts 56
providence, RI

0 posted 2002-03-08 05:52 PM

Bread goes in
Toast comes out
a toaster's lonely life
you called 3 times
I wasn't home
but no one really cares
collect the scattered papers
with inkblots
that seem like words
pronouns: he-she-it
then feed his spirit
to the birds
I'm not who you thought of
not the shade of grey hoped for
"i'm done with this
check please!" she says
and walks into the wall
Mock life style, she tells him
"...just wanted you to know..."
but walks away
before she's done
before she lets love go
Invent a breader
just for me
I want bread back again
nickle
and dime
a moment in time
not worth a cent
because I spent
it only in your lies
Not true
unfair
it meant the world
and just around the bend
I'll put in toast
and bread comes out
spread the butter all about
death will bring me rest
no doubt
a sleepy, sky-blue end.

Lennon2002
Junior Member

since 2002-01-10

Posts 31
The wV

1 posted 2002-03-08 09:21 PM

Rocking Poem! I LOve this lotz!

~Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted.~ John Lennon
~I don't believe in death because I'm ready for it- John Lennon

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

2 posted 2002-03-08 11:47 PM

I love the rhythm to this poem! Great job . . .

Life is a moderately good play w/ a badly written thrid act. - Unknown

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2002-03-09 12:59 PM

Oh this is SO cool.

I love it to bits. It reminds me a lot of Alanis Morissette lyrics. The toaster is a nice analogy of the situation.

You wrote about this particular scenario well. Be very proud of this piece.

~AF~

::Most people never listen::
Ernest Hemingway

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

4 posted 2002-03-09 02:40 PM

You've got a great style with this. I absolutely love it.

Don't let your mind wander, it's much to small to be out by itself.

-Queth-
Junior Member

since 2002-02-10

Posts 35
Canada

5 posted 2002-03-09 03:11 PM

-Ree Ree-

Wow! This is a strong and subtle piece! I'd have to agree with AnonymousFemale that it does have an Alanis Morissette-type style. The short lines gave it a little more beat and made you want to read it to the end. Congrats on a well written piece! -smile-

Q.u.e.t.h.

Everything in between.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

6 posted 2002-03-10 11:31 PM

The ryhthm to this poem was absolutely awesome!!! Very nice read!!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

7 posted 2002-03-11 04:17 PM

Hi, Im a bit late on the welcome to Pip thing..hehe sorry..*been so busy* anyways I love your style, it's nice to see something different for once

Kristen

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