Teen Poetry #5 |
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looking across the sea |
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little_krazy_poet Junior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 41 |
sitting outside looking across the sea someone is on the other side looking back at me looking at her sitting out on a rock i never mind the 12am that shows apon the clock her pale skin her dark black hair and her gazing blue eyes that look at me and stair i can’t talk to her she can’t talk to me but we sit here in love gazing across the sea WRITE WHAT YOU FEEL!! AND DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU TO DO OTHERWISE WHEN YOU LIVE, YOU DIE WHEN YOU DIE, YOUR FORGOTTEN AND WHEN YOUR FORGOTTEN [This message has been edited by little_krazy_poet (edited 06-25-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Matt B... - All Rights Reserved | |||
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey this is kool...i liked the idea behind it. sorta weird...yet interesting. thanks for the read. -fear- "I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL |
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Marshalzu![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work I really enjoyed the read, cool concept as well. Andrew ![]() |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Now, this is pretty cool! I really liked the last stanza. Well done! I enjoyed this. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
beautiful.....like the feel of this ![]() |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Wow, I thought your imagery was good here, how you discribed the girl. A very nice write! Keep it up! ![]() -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
this is really good. I like this. keep it up. I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Ooooo that was very serene and peaceful. Beautiful write my friend. I'm very impressed. Keep it up and keep sharing hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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FoxXena Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted |
This is a really great poem. Hope to see more. ~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~ |
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Heavens Tears![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I really liked this one. The only thing I noticed is the spelling of upon. But other than that, it was a great poem! *Amanda* |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked how this one came out. very nicely done. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
This situation sucks! Don't worry though. You'll make it through even if you can't reach eachother. Good luck to you. ![]() ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Wow, that's an awesome poem. Great imagery. I can relate to it totally. - Cody - |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
this hit me HARD!...i soo totally related to this...i loved this one...very well expressed and discribed...the imagery was beautiful...great job!...bye.. ![]() [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 06-29-2001).] |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
You could always make a swim, make a raft, or just walk over the bridge!!! There is always a way to cross the sea. xscoutx |
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