Washing Machine. (A repost from Teen #4)

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Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2001-06-23 05:25 PM

Washing Machine.

Wash away the pain,
Rinse out all the hate,
Boil me once again,
And spin me to my fate.

Wash me in my washing machine,
Dry me out and I’ll feel clean.

Wash away my feelings,
Rinse out all my thoughts,
Boil me, leave me reeling,
And spin my life too short.

Wash me in my washing machine,
Dry me out and I’ll feel clean.

Wash away the answers,
Rinse out all desire,
Boil me in your cancers,
And spin me in your fire.

Wash me in your gasoline,
Burn me out and I’ll feel clean.

I guess this is my favourite poem to date, I don't know why because it's not my best maybe it's because it amuses me that I can write about washing machines.
Andrew

"Here we are again Finding ourselves at the end Of the wrong stick I guess it's far too late I'm building up the barricades In my head" -My Vitriol

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

1 posted 2001-06-23 05:40 PM

lol. i like it...and it is amusing.

I want a washing machine...

Great poem Zu. Look forward to more!

-Leah

ps- don't break your washing machine...i think it's only meant for clothes.

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 06-23-2001).]

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

2 posted 2001-06-23 05:47 PM

I like this alot Zu.

Great way to use the washing machine.
Very nicely done here.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-06-23 06:43 PM

I really like this poem, Zu. The analogy you use is awesome. The way you used the washing machine to wash away all faults and worries is very creative. Nice work.

--Marie

"Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising. So this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." –James T

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

4 posted 2001-06-23 07:03 PM

Well I already read this, so you know what I think of it.

You've come a long way, Zu. I don't mean that in a bad way but it's evident in reading this one.
I'm also impressed at how you can write about washing machines.

~Allan

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

5 posted 2001-06-23 07:41 PM

You can write about washing machines... *staring at you in awe* wow.

I like the way you incorporated feelings into this one. Wow. Washing machines...

Rhonda

"Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardeil *insert hysterical laughter from me here*

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-06-24 12:00 PM

interetsing poem for me...very unquie way of protraying it...i enjoyed this greatly

...bye Zu

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-06-24 03:45 PM

yes, it is an interesting way of putting your thoughts and feelings. great write Zu, and keep it up

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

8 posted 2001-06-24 07:21 PM

this is pretty cool

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

9 posted 2001-06-24 08:37 PM

washing machine? heck, I need something bigger than that!! some heavy duty thing...well, I liked the poem, but I have to go since my parents are yelling at me

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

10 posted 2001-06-24 10:50 PM

beautiful metaphor!! very original; i like that.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

11 posted 2001-06-26 02:09 AM

I liked thiso ne Zu....very well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

12 posted 2001-06-29 11:27 AM

Ahh yes, I remember this one.

Nice work again Zu, even though you already know that.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

13 posted 2001-06-29 11:55 AM

I loved the analogy that you used here. The only thing I would change is in the 3rd stanza, "thoughts" and "short" dont really rhyme. But other than that, it was great!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

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