Rose(revised) - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

BrokenAngel
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA

0 posted 2002-02-19 04:25 PM

I revised the one I just posted a little while ago, tell me what you think. Trying to get out of writters block.

I don’t know who I can trust
Every one has hurt me

Every one marvels as the rose unfolds
They marvel at the sweet smell
They adore the delicacy of it's petals
The deepness of it's color

But then they destroy it
As if it were a common weed
It's almost like they don't want it around
Even after they have said it was so wonderful

How can they do this?
How can they destroy the one thing they love?
How can they cut the stem away?
How can they cast away a flower?

Why?

---Night Angel

gracianna
Member

since 2002-02-17

Posts 165
A 14 year hell

1 posted 2002-02-19 05:26 PM

This is quite good. I think your writer's block has ended. I like the idea of using the entire thing as a metaphor, at least, that's what it seems to be to me...

I give a whole new meaning to the word 'sad.'

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2002-02-19 05:31 PM

This was very good...and quite honestly i dont know why anyone would destroy such a wonderful thing.

mE & cHrIsTiNe GaVe A WhOlE nEw mEaNiNg tO ThE wOrD "iNcOgNiTo"

BrokenAngel
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA

3 posted 2002-02-20 10:01 PM

Thanx guys. I'm working on my writters block. Maybe I'm commin out, not for sure yet.

---Night Angel

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

4 posted 2002-02-20 10:20 PM

i read your original and then this right away.. what is the "rose" in this?

it loks nicer, but that is all i can say about it.. if i didn't read your original first, i would have to assume some things, and you what happens when you assume..

BrokenAngel
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA

5 posted 2002-02-20 10:29 PM

Chas you can assume anything you want. My poetry is open to what ever you think it shows. The rose, to me, is a girl who has been hurt. I used the rose to show that. I'm not sure witch one is better. Guess thats up to the readers.

---Night Angel

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2002-02-20 11:49 PM

This poem poses a lot of unanswerable questions. I found it to be quite provoking in that sense. However, you'd have to wonder why people do anything at all. To cut off somebody out of your life that is beautiful is simply absurd, but at times done. Perhaps something occurred in that person's life, before meeting you, that caused this situation to come about. Who knows.

ANyhow, wonderful poem. I enjoyed.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.