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Forever
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Forever |
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Hill's_Chatabox Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 46USA |
~Forever~ ~*It took me forever to realize how much you care. It took me forever to understand that sentimental stare. It took me forever to show you how I cared. It took me forever to let the inside of me bare. ~*It brought years of pain along with tears all the thoughts trapped up and some were feared. Forever has been here and now it is gone. So far gone I now know where I belong. ~*Forever I thought my words were not important. Just things that went in one ear and out the other. I never spoke my opinion, just sat and stared, and a little voice saying "why do I care". ~*Caring is somthing they can not do. Caring is somthing my hearts ammune to. Its natural to me and my lifes way. Why can't they care only one day? *Don't tell that you love me unless you meen it, Because I might do somthing crazy like believe it.. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Hillary Austin - All Rights Reserved | |||
Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS IN POETRY!! Very nice first post. I hope you like it here at Passions. Take some time to visit the Teen Chat to get to know some of the people who post here in Teen Poetry. Cant wait to see more poetry! *Amanda* |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!. this had alot behind it and hit me...very tough situation as the feeling is harder...i hope everythings alright  . great first post.[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 07-10-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome to Passions.....nicely done here on this first post. I enjoyed it a lot. Check your e-mail for a special message! Dopey_Dope/Moderator  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Great read, Hillary. I ecspecially liked that last line. [This message has been edited by Spice (edited 07-10-2001).] |
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Hill's_Chatabox Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 46USA |
Thankyou for all the nice things that have been said about my poem, I really appreciate it.. One again thankyou, Iam glad that you enjoyed my poem. Shoot for the moon cause if you miss you'll still end up in the *stars*!!! |
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Words_of_Glitter Member
since 2000-10-25
Posts 90USA |
you know i love this one! you rock! you are a great writer and friend! "Do not marry the one that you can live with. Marry the one you cannot live without." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Welcome to Passions!!! Great first post, and I really hope to see more! Rhonda "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Welcome to Passions! I really enjoyed this poem, but have a few suggestions. Since you have a critique flag up, expect a few opinions on your poetry  In the stanza that reads: "It brought years of pain along with tears all the thoughts trapped up and some were feared. Forever has been here and now it is gone. So far gone I now know where I belong." I think you should change that to make it for lines so it will turn out to be: "It brought years of pain along with tears all the thoughts trapped up and some were feared. Forever has been here and now it is gone. So far gone I now know where I belong." That also happens in the stanza that says: "Forever I thought my words were not important. Just things that went in one ear and out the other. I never spoke my opinion, just sat and stared, and a little voice saying "why do I care"." Maybe that could be changed to read: "Forever I thought my words were not important. Just things that went in one ear and out the other. I never spoke my opinion, just sat and stared, and a little voice saying 'why do I care'." Those are just a few things to think about  JMHOThis is a very good poem, very well written. I can't wait to see more from you... soon! --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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