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If Only
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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If Only |
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Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
"If Only" © 2002 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved Verse 1: If only, days were shorter and nights were longer I would see more of you, during the day there's so much hunger but comes the night it's through. Not the real thing won't last a lifetime can't keep living in dreams, but it's the closest that you and I will ever be it seems. Build: Why wont' you let me get in close? Or let me smell the sweetest rose? Was it something I said, that made you cry?... No, I never meant to hurt you, oho damn if only you knew, how much I want to, make it all right, this time... Chorus: If only I could, if only you would, let me love you. If only I may, if only I might, be the one you love tonight. Be the one who cares, be the one who shares, your everything. I swear that I will, I swear that I can, be your trusting, loving man. If only I may, if only I might, be the one you love tonight. Verse 2: If only, I knew what to do differently then maybe with me you'd be, went on a limb again and again still you don't notice me. So how can I tell you how I feel all I need is a chance, I'll give you everything in one deal but it slipped from your hands. Build: Why won't you let me get in close? Or let me smell the sweetest rose? Was it something I said, that made you cry?... No, I never meant to hurt you, oho damn if only you knew, how much I want to, make it all right, this time... RE-Chorus: Bridge: I've tried everything I know of but still we're not together, tell me what am I doing wrong? Why are we bound to never? Do you want tenderness? I'll give you tenderness, please show me what to do. 2nd. Half of Build: Oho damn if only you knew, how much I want to, make it all right, this time... Re-Chorus: font> [This message has been edited by Hallucination (06-28-2002 05:50 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
NOW WHY HASN'T ANYONE COMMENTED ON THIS YET? I take it you're making this into a song? If not, please take it into serious consideration. ^_^; For lyrics, it flowed quite easily, and each line, each word seemed to be full of sincerity. ^^ A very beautiful write. A small suggestion: The word "damn" seems to be a little too harsh for this song. If you replace it with something a little "softer", maybe it wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb. o_O; However, you don't need to. You have a knack for writing lyrics! Hope to see more of this great stuff! ^_^ Leah |
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