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littlella22
New Member

since 2002-01-29

Posts 1

0 posted 2002-02-08 01:41 AM

Tyed Up

I wake up and glance at my watch
7:50
He won't be awake for another couple of hours
I close my eyes
There is silence in the room
   all except for his rhythmic breathing
Outside and down eight stories
   the city is busy
   and if I let it
   it will break the silence in the room
   but no, I won't let it
   not today
Today he is mine
His silence belongs to me
No angry truck driver's horn will get in my way
Not today
Ah, silence
I open my eyes again
   drawn by his rhythmic breathing once more
I turn towards him
But he is turned away from me
   I see only the back of his head
      his rich dark brown hair
   and his broad bare upper back
   The covers fall just below his speckled shoulder
      fall perfectly over every part of his body
He stirs quietly in his sleep
I lay onto my back
I look over to the shade-drawn window
Slits of light shine through
Illuminating the room with early sunlight
I can picture what is just outside
   Sun reflects off of the tall city buildings
      it's blinding if you look directly at them
   The river is just beyond those buildings
   The reflections in the cool water are beautiful
      and still
   The city in the water turns into a dream world
      perfect and untouched
      a utopia
I flash back to reality
I am still laying next to him
He stirs once more and I lay still
I don't want him to know that I am awake
   not yet
   this time, this silence, still belongs to me
Once his breathing returns into deepness
   I turn towards him again
I can now see more of his relaxed body
   His ear
      created by imperfection perfectly
   His cheek
      flushed a bit, he must be warm
   The concavity of his eye
      sunken, hiding his eyelid from my view
   The tip of his nose
      his very own nose
   His lips
      all I can think about is kissing them
I am still deprived his beautiful face
   and I secretly wish I could see it
      I can't take my eyes from him
Time passes
I'm not sure how long it has been
I glance at my watch again
8:40
Time remains mine
My mind wanders
   unleashed
   there is no telling where it is going
   where it will end up
My eyes flash around the room
My mind secretly memorizing where every
   little object is
   His posters on the walls
   His clothes strewn around the room
      laying to rest whee he carelessly threw them
   His papers
   His records
   His shoes
   Everything about him is in that room
   Everything that characterizes him
He stirs
I am still
He settles
I glance at my watch
9:45
I know everything in his room
I should
I have been studying it for an hour
I think about him and me
   What he has brought to my life
   Happiness that I never thought I would have again
   But also so much more
   Perhaps he doesn't realize it
      but I care for him
   And somehow I know that
      in his heart
      he cares for me too
   Maybe nothing but a friendship will come of it
      there's nothing wrong with that
   And I wonder what he is looking for
      what he wants
   But wait
   Do I know what I am looking for
      wanting
He awakens
My thoughts cut off
Finally my mind cut free of self-contemplation
   mutilation
10:10
I smile at him
   and he smiles back
Silence and time are no longer in my possession
But I must not be selfish
As I lightly run my fingers across his back
   I watch the shadow of my hand that has been cast
   It is faultless
      like the reflection in the river
   But despite the care we have shown for each other
   thus far
      maybe things are too perfect
      too much like the river
I am tied up in him
And I know
It will never last

                 ~Andi~

aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

1 posted 2002-02-08 02:27 AM

WELCOME to PASSIONS!!!!

Just wanted to be the first to welcome you.

I really liked this.  The idyllic scene you described here in the beginning sounds like your dream come true.  The silence of the morning, the passage of time that just seems to slip out of reach, being able to lay next to someone you care about and just watch them sleep, the way you describe your "friend", it all seems to show your highly romantic inner self.

I particularly liked this part:

   "Maybe nothing but a friendship will come of it
      there's nothing wrong with that
   And I wonder what he is looking for
      what he wants
   But wait
   Do I know what I am looking for
      wanting"

I think this shows your not knowing what is going to happen and just accepting the time you have with them now.  It also shows the confusion we all have in our relationships with other people.

I also really liked this line:
"Finally my mind cut free of self-contemplation
   mutilation"
because I think we all tend to rip ourselves apart for no reason wondering about things we may have no control over.

Finally the end left me thinking about how all to often perfect realtionships seem to fall apart all to easily when something major does come up for the first time.  But maybe things will work out for you.
I just hope your happy no matter what happens.

Maybe I'm a little biased but I think you are a wonderful writer and I'm glad you decided to post this for us to read.  I look forward to reading more from you soon.

ex animo,
Aaron

p.s.