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little_krazy_poet
Junior Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 41

0 posted 2001-06-25 01:43 AM

cols dark and damp
raining on me lying naked in the street
people walking by
not helping me to my feet

slowly making my way
up to the curb
screaming at the top of my lungs
just walking by like they never herd

standing up now
talking to them loud
standing together
is a large crowd

there just staring at me
each one with an evil look
they attack me
my soul is what they took

struggling to my feet
i’m just a little shaken
but now and forever i will be
FORSAKEN

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-06-25 03:36 AM

powerful...this hit me...and the imagery was great...showed more emotions well...great job!...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2001-06-25 07:09 AM

I agree with Albert a very good read and powerful emotions.

Andrew

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 255

3 posted 2001-06-25 10:38 AM

i liked this a lot. depression sucks

i hope everything is ok

one morning you wake up afraid you are going to live

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-06-25 12:05 PM

Yeah, what Dark said.. Depression sucks. All I can say is seek professional help. I enjoyed this, Matt. Very nicely done.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-06-25 06:07 PM

wow....this is so creepy...in in a very cool way! again, wow!!

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-06-25 07:37 PM

Great way to express your deepest emotions. I believe your words in the end can be avoided. We must not let anyone dictate our lives or who we are suppose to be.

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

7 posted 2001-06-25 10:05 PM

wow, I really like this...thank you for sharing

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

8 posted 2001-06-25 10:20 PM

Wow...this was really dark. I enjoyed it much!

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

9 posted 2001-06-26 12:12 PM

this is so strong. i love the diction you used, especially the word forsaken, which carries such weight. Keep posting.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

10 posted 2001-06-26 11:47 PM

The ending was powerful. It, like others said, hit me. I thought you did very well on this poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

angel_2401
Member

since 2001-06-12

Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH

11 posted 2001-06-27 02:27 PM

Wow, this is really powerful. I like this one a lot. Keep posting!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

12 posted 2001-06-28 06:24 AM

There is definitely a lot of strength behind this piece. The way simple way it was written really gave that something special to it.

Well done.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member

since 2002-06-07

Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky

13 posted 2002-06-23 02:35 PM

Strong, Powerful, and Beautiful-Keep up the great work!

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member

since 2002-06-07

Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky

14 posted 2002-06-23 02:35 PM

Strong, Powerful, and Beautiful-Keep up the great work!

MIdsummerRain
Member

since 2002-05-19

Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri

15 posted 2002-06-24 05:18 AM

I can see you.. Great read ~Rayne

For in much wisdom is much grief
& he who increases knowledge
increases sorrow...
Eccl. 1:18

SlowDrag
Member

since 2002-01-10

Posts 53
Tx...need i say more

16 posted 2002-06-24 03:12 PM

very good...fun to read

and all i wanna do is be there for the things you're going through....well is it good for you?...is it good for you?

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