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fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

0 posted 2002-06-26 06:20 AM

hey all. i'm not exactly the best writer of love poetry, but the feeling is truly there. please read and reply honestly. thank you, i appreciate it. -bergundy-

raindrops lightly spatter
the top of my roof
as i gather my thoughts
in order to write
this attempted love poem
for you

i never know
what to say
and my fingers ache
from the countless times
i've tried to capture
my feelings for you

they're pure
even when i feel
my soul is smudged
and bruised.
guileless...
even when
it's hard for me to be

yet these words seem so trivial
in this time of actual happiness
but i've always felt the need
to record my thoughts
and preserve my words
in the form of verse

so Matty..
know that i love you
and never grow tired
of saying those three
simple words
that relate my feelings
better then this entire piece

!bergundy!

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

sillywilly
Junior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 33
oklahoma

1 posted 2002-06-26 09:58 AM

Don't worry, you did a great job writing a love poem. A great poem is purely a matter of opinion. Great job expressing yourself. Keep it up!

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member

since 2002-06-07

Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky

2 posted 2002-06-26 07:16 PM

can u really put love into words?
good poem!

o*~Everyone makes mistakes-get over them and make more tomorrow!~*o

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

3 posted 2002-06-26 08:27 PM

=) aww thanks. that is a good point, that love is really difficult to put into words. thanks for replying to this, it means lots and lots to me. be happy.
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

SavingGrace
Junior Member

since 2002-05-31

Posts 26
not yet found

4 posted 2002-06-26 10:09 PM

any time your true feelings are poured out in a poem, it is good. i actually feel your feelings in this so therefore it is warranted as a good write!

~*Grace*~
You wouldn't be so concerned with what people thought of you if you only knew how seldom they did...

twitchy
New Member

since 2002-05-29

Posts 4

5 posted 2002-06-27 02:01 AM

i dont know what to say....that was great berg. i thinks thats one of the best ive read by you but you know i have my reasons for that too....
m

Sanity now and beyond me
I will always love you.
However long I stay
I will always love you.
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

6 posted 2002-06-27 05:35 AM

thanks matt...
-berg

haha it's elvis!

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

[This message has been edited by fearing-laughter (06-27-2002 05:38 AM).]

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

7 posted 2002-06-28 05:00 AM

Hey! I really liked this. It was interesting, cause it was written about writing a love poem, or the lack of being able to do so... Yet, it was a love poem... strange. lol I really liked it, though. Great write.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

8 posted 2002-06-28 06:18 AM

this was a good poem. it shwos how hard it is to write a love poem and that gives the poem more meaning -thanks for the read-

Thank you for your time :shy:

when you live you die
when you die your forgotten
when your forgotten you truly die

StellarChica
Member

since 2002-07-06

Posts 207
floating down a river...

9 posted 2002-07-06 02:46 PM

that was great. it was honest and told it like it is.. and it's hard to describe feelings like that in writing. I think you did an outstanding job, though!

*~ERIN~*

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

10 posted 2002-07-07 01:01 AM

This is just beautiful. That's all I have to say.

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