Title: My Heart Is Set On You

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

inspiredpoetwriter
Member

since 2002-01-05

Posts 104
Minnesota

0 posted 2002-01-30 09:05 PM

January 30, 2002, 7:40 PM

My heart is set on you
My feelings scream to tell you
How I feel inside
My heart is scared to let
You go.

My heart is set on you
My eyes wet with tears
Of crying over missing you
Wanting you
Needing you in my life forever.

My heart is set on you
My mind goes crazy
With you filling it with
Thoughts that’ll never end.

My heart is set on you
Alone in the night I will
Never see your eyes
Sparkle in the
Light of the stars in the sky.

My heart is set on you
Tonight I wont see you
In my dreams taking
Me to that special place
Where only I want to get away.

My heart is set on you
evilness blind me
Fears scares me
Passion makes me free.

My heart is set on you.

0:)
AngZ

*p.s wat ya'll think lemmie know if i should change it*

¥¤¥¤¥¥¤¥¤¥iM a PoEt WhO wRiTeZ Wit HeR Heart ¥¤¥¤¥¥¤¥¤¥

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2002-01-30 10:15 PM

dont change it....I like it just as is

very nicely done

with all that you are...
with all that you know...
love......

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

2 posted 2002-01-30 10:25 PM

I think there was good repitition of your main theme here. It really emphasized your emotions in this poem (which is good for obvious reasons). All and all it was very clear and honest. Thank you for posting.

Jaime

-- the calm before the storm --

jaimespoetry.blogspot.com

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2002-01-31 11:09 AM

As Jaime said, the repition was a very good thing throughout the poem. Each time I read those words, they got a little stronger each time. I don't think I would change much in this, except maybe making the length of the stanzas a little more consistent. That's all that I would touch.

Well done, here. I enjoyed this, and I certainly hope I see more soon.

--Marie

I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

4 posted 2002-01-31 04:36 PM

I definately dont think you should change it..its fine just the way it is!! It really expresses your emotions and how you feel about this person very clearly...great poem hun

BoOsH bOoSh nApoLE

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.