Teen Poetry #5 |
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Celestial Secrets... |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA ![]() |
Ok so the title really doesn't make sense but I highly doubt this does either.. Memories scorn A heart that has been torn As I sit here waiting Staring at a sky that is adorn With tiny specks of celestial beings Wondering, pondering If they are capable of seeing Whats hidden deep with in my fragile soul I even question Faith in hand Mumbling curses In which entertwine amgonst the flirting breeze As I Focus on empty wishes And broken words I close my eyes Upon reflection Forcing upon myself to obtain shere perfection Of a gentle spirit And a lasting enchantation To spellbind all that is wrong Within my life And to run out the demons That prey on my inner beauty And inner light So can the stars Reach deep down within my soul And are aware of something That I do not know... |
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© Copyright 2002 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Though not as dark as your other stuff, I like this. It shows that you've not given up hope...and I think the title does fit. Don't force yourself to perfection....cuz perfection isn't really perfect at all. If something was perfect, it would lack flaws...and without flaws to compare against, there's no meaning to perfection. Honestly, I didn't like this as much as your others. The flow seems off a bit or something near the beginning, though it smooths off near the end. Don't lose sight of that inner beauty that you know is there. -Adam "If life is so significant, then why do we die?" |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
This makes sense to me, I can't explain how, but it does in a way. It reminds me of my recent breakup, but then again, so does everything. But none the less, it does make some sense, it feels true, there was emotion put into this, that much is apparent. It is a good poem, especially one for reading by one in such a dreary mood as I find myself. Thanks for the write, hopefully I'm back for good this time, but we shall see where the winds of change lead me next. -Rich |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I think that the title makes sense with the poem... ![]() yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows |
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