Teen Poetry #5 |
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Crooked Halos IV - Just Let Me Sleep |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
In the dark she wanders towards The bathroom of her house, Fingers towards the cupboard reach, Quiet as a mouse. With a painful screaming creek, She opens up the door, Helpless eyes of emerald flick Towards her father’s snore. In a trembling hand she takes A bottle painted blue, She shakes out a couple pills, Shakes out a precious few. With a click, the hallway light Flickers to a glow, She quickly takes the tiny pills, She can’t let him know. She hurries back into her room Before her father spies The tears that stain her pretty cheeks, Or the cuts upon her thighs. In her bed she softly curls Into a little ball, Clenches her eyes tightly closed, Ignores the rising squall. With a shaking, sorrowed sigh, She whispers to the night, "Stop the pain, please stop the pain, Just let me sleep tonight." "If life is so significant, then why do we die?" |
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© Copyright 2002 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Voiceless Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686Under the stars upon the wind |
Oh my god! I love it, it is so powerful. With a message that just gets to you. The flow and the emotions expressed are great! Oh I love it! Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial) |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Your words are strong and powerful...amazing job here!! PLEASE KEEP EM COMING! yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow.. this is going straight to the library. Your series has so much emotion... it's all so painfully beautiful. And I almost wish I couldn't connect with what you're saying. Wonderful work. Simply fantastic. --Marie I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone. |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Heh...I'm beginning to enjoy writing in this descriptive poetic-storytelling style. I'm not sure how long this series will end up being, but I'll probably keep em coming until I either run out of ideas, or I find some other fascination to capture my attention. Thanks for all the supportive comments. -Adam "If life is so significant, then why do we die?" [This message has been edited by Kosetsu (01-23-2002 11:42 PM).] |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
*Jaw drops* you're going to make me CRY!!!!! =( deja vu..well not the cuts upon her thighs part but that was ummm..ok n/m..have you been reading my mind lately? so eerie..very eerie... Kristen |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
aww...I'm sorry Kristen. E-mail me about it, k? -Adam *glances at the fifth in the series a few pages back and scowls at the lack of replies* Go read dat one peoples!!! It's not THAT bad...at least I dun think so. "If life is so significant, then why do we die?" [This message has been edited by Kosetsu (01-24-2002 08:57 PM).] |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Hmm... I've been gone to long again... I missed the first parts of this series, 'tis a shame because it is very good. I always think your work is great, keep it up. By the way, this is a great format for you it seems, stick with it and see where it goes. See YA. -Rich [This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (01-24-2002 09:13 PM).] |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Go back a few pages. They should still be there.....the first one is simply titled Crooked Halos. No number or subtitle. The second one I chose not to post due to content reasons. The other ones should still be there. -Adam "If life is so significant, then why do we die?" |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
This one hit home.. the girl is like a mixture of two people I know... really good job on this.. as always.. now I'm sad.. grr.. but gravy.. kay Ali Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel... A tes souhaits... A tes amours... Qu ils restent. J'ai t'adore. Je t'aime. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
..wooOOoOOooo!....im liking your story telling as much as YOU are adamz!...off to the next one! ![]() ![]() ![]() eyes...........feeel...D |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
I don't know why I am so drawn to your poetry, I end up in tears every time I read them, but i guess it just brings back memories. Keep them coming....but try to but in some kind of emotional triumph...for the sake of your readers! LCBS I was drowning in my own tears, until you threw me a life preserver |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Dude, I'm sorry for going AWOL at the prime of 'Crooked Halos'. I feel bad almost for missing alot of'em. I'm going to look back and read them all! I'm really enjoying this...*sigh* I'm bad...I deserve like 100 lashings! Whatever I'll say about this poem has already been said. But it's true...powerful imagery and storytelling skills are shown in your work. Great...keep it up! Someday, you'll be a star! Others are too in love with the sound of their own voice to speak the truth... |
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