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Happily Exposed
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Happily Exposed |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Rippling over my flesh and overwhelming my senses I yearn for a new hold Black lace and red toenails take in every detail, Swallow me whole Commanding little girl likes to watch flowers blooming in her hands Dare to express yourself on my thick canvas You’ll find it’s easy even with the lights on Don’t worry yourself with pain for I don’t break so easily and you’d be surprised what tastes you can acquire with a lack of inhibitions 1.20.02 -- the calm before the storm -- |
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china doll Junior Member
since 2002-01-20
Posts 22 |
I've always wanted to be able to write a poem like this!I can sorta understand the meaning behind this...you're talking about the exposure of the female flesh??? Anyways, great job! thank you for sharing! |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I'm talking about... just being free of mind. Exposing yourself to anything and allowing yourself to enjoy it.  Jaime  -- the calm before the storm -- |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
Exposing yourself to everything and liking it. Hmmmm, I can think of a few things now. I particularly (?spelling?) like the lines "Don't worry yourself with pain for I don't break so easily" (shrugs) Great write. Later ex animo, Aaron There are no great men, only men in great circumstances. |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Great job Enchantress...i always love reading your poems for a many different reasons...because u write so wonderfully and so full of emotion and you also remind me a lot of myself so i can see myself in the poems that u write...yet again a great job..thanks for sharing yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
The language you always use in your poems are even worth the read, Jaime... I always look forward to reading you work, and this is certainly not an exception. I really liked the language, and the darkness was wonderful. Very well-written piece you have... I'm impressed, and you should be proud Job well done! (And psst - late congrats on 1,000 posts!!!) --Marie I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Well done. Especially the last few lines. Titus |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
You command so many images with your words, Jaime..I like this one I truly do..and it's weird that I read this after I did something that I've been waiting to do after 2 years... Kris |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work, I really enjoy reading your poems and this was no exception, keep up the good work. Zu Find me a problem a pigeon can't solve and I'll find you a pigeon to solve it. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
I was reading this one afresh... and, damn, it's splendid! *nods* "Rippling over my flesh and overwhelming my senses" The ease with which this line cleary depicts the feelings flowing.... damn good. "Dare to express yourself on my thick canvas You’ll find it’s easy even with the lights on" If one dares to be free of worry, free of stress, free of fear, the possibilities are endless. I love the metaphor of the 'thick canvas." Do you mean truely art? No.... But what of one whom with your help expresses themself? Or one who uses you to express themself? There are many, many ways on could go with this. "for I don’t break so easily *nods* "and you’d be surprised what tastes you can acquire with a lack of inhibitions" These lines are by far my favorites. So true it is! Be willing to explore, and theres no end to what you can experiience and accomplish!  Pukka, dear.  ~ Mon Verite "Tesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter" |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
You're work always drips of euphemism and metaphor.... I'm not sure if it's on purpose...I can picture something else entirely than what you said. Double meanings rock...this was great. Jenn "I can't get you out of my head- your love is all I think about." |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
sometimes i think we all feel like a little girl playing dressup. i love this piece. /jen/ so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3 |
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