»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
Choices
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
Choices |
|
|
TigerZ Member
since 2002-01-02
Posts 83Ontario, Canada |
Choices "No!" She cries, tears in her eyes. She looks again, a second time... To make sure that her eyes have not seen wrong. This cannot be! Wait a minute.There is a solution... "No!" She thinks. Theres is no way. You've read about what happens. It's cruel and unfair...surely you have a heart. Besides, people never get anywhere by running from their mistakes. You knew about the risks that were involved doing what you did. So instead of being a coward, be strong...raise the child and be a great mother. Tell me what you honestly thought about this one guys please? |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Leandie Erasmus - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
oh ok, you want my honesty, then you take it with the knowing, I mean no cruelty....only honest thought. ok with that said...I think you need to clarify if you are speaking in general, or to someone you know or not???? It is a bit harsh, and it is stated as an opinion...but see, I'm a mom, and you are in no position to judge anyone.It sounds really mean when I read it and it makes me angry....yes, folks know what they are doing....but that doesn't mean that they should be condemned. I am pro choice......no matter what, she has a choice....even if it isn't the choice I'd make....I do not walk in her shoes, nor her or anyone else in mine. whew!  Sorry, I just dont think you should judge, thats all. again, I'm not trying to be a jerk here, really.....if you were going for an impact, this definately has one, so to that I say VERY good writing |
||
|
TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
This is a really tough subject and i'm sure everyone has a different opinion on it and I'm really not sure how to feel about it.But anways this poem is excentelly written and is full of emotion good job. Lauren "I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind |
||
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This really is a very tough subject but i think you wrote about it well..thanks for sharing yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows |
||
|
Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
She has a choice in the matter, and whatever she chooses she should be given support by her friends (if not by her family). There is no right or wrong, and maybe someone else might think it is wrong, but she is the one who'll leave with that choice forever, so let her make her own decisions _,,,^.^,,,_ |
||
|
Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Hmm...actually SEA, when I read it, it seemed more to me like it was the girl making her decision right then to keep the child in a sort of mental monologue-ish sort of thing. Rather than the writer talking to the girl and saying that she should have known better, I took it as the girl telling HERSELF that she should have known better, and the right thing, in her opinion, is to go through with the birth. Dunno...maybe I read it wrong, but that's my opinion of it. That's the beauty of poetry, is it not? To be able to interpret it as you like...woo -Adam P.S. though a somewhat different style of poetry than I normally like, I enjoyed this one TigerZ. Keep it up. "I like pigs. Dogs look up at us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill [This message has been edited by Kosetsu (01-14-2002 12:36 AM).] |
||
|
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Kosetsu ~ from that viewpoint, you are correct, and it makes it SO much better....thank you for showing it to me that way |
||
|
Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Woo. |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Nice work, TigerZ... I actually got the same out of it that SEA did, and I was a little upset by the message... but I am interested to what it really was. Thanks for sharing this, and keep em coming --Marie I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no should ever feel this alone. |
||
|
HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
I too am a little confused on the message you're trying to express, but nonetheless it flows. Maybe add something that gives a hint about what the girl is angry about? I dunno what I'm talkin' about... just an opinion. :P "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
