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[Sweet Serenity]
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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[Sweet Serenity] |
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[Ice Box] Junior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 21Canada |
Attraction beyond constant Desire, Everlasting folly, gone home. Intertwining jests, keleidoscopic lights mirrored needlessly over Paragon. Quietly, remembering serenity, till unendless veils waltz extravagently Yonder... Zealous. [Ice Box] ps- I made one exception on the word "extravagently" (which, no doubt, I probably spelled wrong, as with every other word here, hehe) since there aren't any "x" words that wouldn't make this poem sound cheesy. Yeesh. Stupid X. Well, many [monkeys] to you all! Bite. [This message has been edited by [Ice Box] (01-11-2002 12:25 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 [Ice Box] - All Rights Reserved | |||
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PÙÑKŸ BRËW§†ÊR New Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 7i'll never tell muhahaha |
nice imagry! (i prolly spelled that wrong oh well) i liked it alot! i feel like emailing you so i will hehe! ok well lata! robin i fear for i am feared!! hmmmm who i am is a mystery! i am not new just wanted a new name. |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
I must say that I am very impressed I've never seen this sort of thing before, you must really be very talented |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
alrighty, i ALWAYS expect a different expectation with your pieces...you know why? i'll tell you why. *ahem* you write this pieces that are not ONLY deep but also very well written, with the most important expecting quailty which is that, you add some awesome creativity in whatever piece you post...everytime different.  The whole a-z thing worked wonderfully in this one...and i noticed how you written the words like..."needlessly", "unendless" that was a nice touch, and okay um. "keleidoscopic"??? im still...  .............................................................................................................................Well, its nice seeing you[ice]...more says I! *monkies* Hey...#25437 What! You in there? Yea, im in here. ok [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (01-11-2002 02:07 PM).] |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
wow i havent saw much from you lately this is like so neat..u just gave me an idea! i liked this and btw i think u spelled it right hehe  ....hey wheres the cream filling?!... |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I liked the style of the poem..its different and unique  I enjoyed it a lot, thanks for sharing!yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
All I can come up with is - "WOW"!!! That was definitely an interesting one. _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
definately clever! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You rang?  |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Hey ice Box I really liked this... The language you used really made it come to life. Emotions captured were strong, and the contrast of the lengths of the lines was creative. Job well done Enjoyed, as always... Look forward to more. --Marie 'Things are getting worse but I feel a lot better... and that's all that really matters to me.' |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
The word "cute" probably wouldn't want to be something you want to hear in your critiques but hehehe what can I say I'm highly sick and delirious but ok so maybe cute isn't the word I'm looking for..but hrmmm..intriquing..mystical..marvelous get my drift Loved it..Kristen ~The ice is thin, come on dive in underneath my lucid skin...~ |
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