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Teen Poetry #5

Agony in the Garden

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2002-01-08 04:34 PM

Hide me in the guarden, my Guardian.
Harbor me in your arms, Abba.
Whatever happens, don't disregard me!
Do not deny me, Father!

Father, do not deny me!
Don't let me become a martyr!
Do not disregard me! Untie me!
Pardon me, Abba, Father!

Father, I pray you, pardon me!
This time, your call came untimely.
Abba, do not abandon me!
Father, do not deny me!

I pray you, pity me, Father!
Don't you recognize me, your son?
I beg of you, pardon me, Abba!
But, at last, let your will be done!

Check out my poetry here:

http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master

[This message has been edited by Master (01-08-2002 10:04 PM).]

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-01-08 07:28 PM

Hmmmm...interesting peace---it is often that I see people wanting acceptance from their fathers---pity and whatnot. I share the same trauma---as do some of my closer friends. Good write...I enjoyed it!

The trick is to know when to walk away---and TO KNOW WHEN TO RUN!!!

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

2 posted 2002-01-09 05:11 PM

I throughouly enjoyed this piece. WOnderful written, and very deep and tense. I too question my Father, Abba Father, my Lord, to not deny me. Nice haunting piece here.

Sincerely,
Titus

I am me, living in my dreams.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2002-01-09 06:29 PM

Strong piece master!!!! Great work!

yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2002-01-10 05:33 AM

This one I did not enjoy at all. While your repetition was not overused and the piece itself brought forth a power, it lacked the essence of what you normally bring to these forums. Perhaps I'm reading them differently but the enjoyment factor was not up there.

Nonetheless, thank you for posting. I look forward to more.

~AF~

If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life.

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