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fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

0 posted 2002-01-04 02:07 AM

hey,um if anyone wants to know where the hell this came from the answer is i have no idea lol. it just came to me, although i've felt this way before i don't at the moment. please read it and reply honestly with any suggestions you might have, and your opinions. thanks!

rip me open
and pull me apart
delicatly picking
at the pieces of my heart
slice my mind open
just to find out
what is on the inside
pluck my organs out
one by one
and carefully place them back
in my ravaged body
backwards, and upside down
simply because it makes you smile
laugh as if you were insane
slice me
dice me
i think you want to hear me scream
before you destroy me
but sadly,
in reality
all you needed to accomplish this
were a few words
and my love to throw
spitefully back at my face.
so now i shall lay still
there's no point in fighting anymore

welcome to the house of dissection

-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

[This message has been edited by fearing-laughter (01-04-2002 11:24 PM).]

Lisa_bebe15
Member

since 2001-11-15

Posts 151
Florida

1 posted 2002-01-04 11:24 AM

I love that to be truthfull..I love poems like that..I can't write em..but I love to read em..I guess I am crazy..well thats what the doc's say..crazy in the head..I loved that..maybe others didnt..but I did and thats why I left this note..water over matter

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2002-01-04 11:30 AM

This was definately morbid...yikes!!! Gory even now that i think about it...nicely written...good job!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

prov1717
Member

since 2001-12-26

Posts 74
NE

3 posted 2002-01-04 06:43 PM

aah very descriptive and full of emotion, nice write!

HiddenSparklez
Member

since 2000-12-29

Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada

4 posted 2002-01-04 09:40 PM

It's hard to define where you were going in this poem, but indeed it is what you said it was a poem you have no idea where it came from (me neither!). This poem did intrigue me to read it again so it was worth posting!

"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

5 posted 2002-01-08 01:47 AM

I love this poem because it's got and interesting style to it.But anyway I can't wait to read more keep up the awsome work.
Lauren

"I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind

"You've got to get yourself together you got stuck in a moment and y

Alyssa

Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!

6 posted 2002-01-08 06:05 PM

Wow

....Handle with care...

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

7 posted 2002-01-08 07:01 PM

*Strokes chin*
Hmmm...I really enjoy this. Not only does it speak the truth---but the somewhat morbid images really, really described the pain. I know this pain well---and I felt...that no matter what I write, you nailed down the emotions and pain pretty well. You have my respect! Be sure to keep writing such beatiful peices!

The trick is to know when to walk away---and TO KNOW WHEN TO RUN!!!

Poet on Acid
Member

since 2001-01-07

Posts 325
Florida, USA

8 posted 2002-01-09 02:25 PM

Wow...bloody...frightening...and a bit of love mixed in...Sarcasm aside it was a great poem even though the subject matter is obviously negative.

"It is better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all" ...but the pain of both is equally unbearable...

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

9 posted 2002-01-12 11:49 PM

thanks for replying ppl! lol and tony..since when do you have a problem with negative subjects lol.
-bergundy-

Mon Cherie

Senior Member

since 2001-10-31

Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers

10 posted 2002-01-13 01:11 PM

all you needed to accomplish this
were a few words
and my love to throw
spitefully back at my face.

I have to agree that when you love someone, it takes very little from this person to throw your whole world into complete chaos. Then you'll be left all alone to pick up the broken pieces of your life.

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

TigerZ
Member

since 2002-01-02

Posts 83
Ontario, Canada

11 posted 2002-01-14 07:09 AM

Very interesting poem...I had to read it twice.

A life without love…is no life at all.

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