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Zukene_Chic
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 152
Cali

0 posted 2002-01-03 01:01 AM

You say you love me.
You say I'm pretty.
You say I'm the sweetest thing ever.

I doubt you love me.
I know you think I'm a whore.
I know you would be rid of me if you could.

I hate you.

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

1 posted 2002-01-03 01:15 AM

So let's blow'em to hell!!! Hmm.. maybe not. Well I'm glad you let your emotions flow out. Who cares what they think? Their opinion isn't important. Yours is... screw them if they're too stupid to see you for all that you are.

Thanks for posting.

The only thing that I fear is to die quietly.

jaimespoetry.blogspot.com

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

2 posted 2002-01-03 03:13 AM

Wow...this is one piece filled with a lot of emotion. And all I can say is do whatever you feel is right.But anyway I liked this poem a lot.
Lauren

"I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind

~*brittt*~
Member

since 2001-05-09

Posts 76
East Haddam, CT

3 posted 2002-01-03 09:51 AM

hey you really expressed yourself very well. dont guys just suck???
~britt~

Tamma

Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV

4 posted 2002-01-03 04:17 PM

hmmm...doesnt this situation just suck? I've been there, too many tymes to count. But, let him think what he wants, cause if you know the truth, thats all that matters, right?

~ Tamma

If I held a star everytyme
he made me smile,I'd have the
evening sky in my palm, if
one was removed for every tear
he caused, I'd be emptyhanded.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2002-01-03 11:27 PM

Lots of resentment in this poem. It's full of heavy emotions... I hope things work out for you.

And be careful - remember, no more than 3 posts in a day

--Marie

"It was a long December, but there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." (Counting Crows)

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

6 posted 2002-01-04 12:20 PM

hmmm.... yup sounds like a jerkoff to me! bag the moron before he hurts you!

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

7 posted 2002-01-04 01:44 AM

interesting...i like it. and this guy is obviously just one big giant whoreface times five. although if you're angry at him it is quite good to get it out. great job on this.be happy
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

8 posted 2002-01-04 07:54 AM

Wow this was full of emotion!!!! Nice job!!!!!! I liked it!! He sounds like a jerk...

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

gymnast
Member

since 2001-11-18

Posts 80
Scotland.

9 posted 2002-01-04 08:26 AM

I love this poem and all it's emotion-it's really great! Keep it up!! And the guy sounds like a jerk-I'm guessing you could do much better(I mean a guy, not a poem!!)!!!

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

10 posted 2002-01-04 08:31 AM

WOW! so much emotion and memories! i loved it! i got my anger out just by reading this thanks!

love me and rhonda for ti loves us!

lone_poet707
Member

since 2001-11-17

Posts 70
black hole named Aylmer

11 posted 2002-01-04 10:09 AM

it seems to me we both have one thing in common- we r both filled with a lot of anger and resentment. im glad ur finding a means to vent all of it constructively, however, in this case, maybe u'd be better off to shoot off at him. theres too much emotion in dis piece to just leave it all on the paper...with dat said, great piece!
-Joe

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

12 posted 2002-01-04 10:29 AM

I believe you need a talk with this person
you should ask him how he really thinks about you
thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

13 posted 2002-01-04 10:49 AM

I didn't like this poem at all. It seems a common theme in poetry posted in here recently has been of this type. Maybe I'm just a depressed psycho, but I'm getting kinda tired of it. There's nothing wrong with writing your feelings, I'm not saying that, Im just saying, write a good I hate life poem instead. I'd love to read that.

If someone said, "Write a sentence about your life," I'd write "I want to go outside and play."

[This message has been edited by stace_co2003 (01-04-2002 10:53 AM).]

Roberta Little
Junior Member

since 2001-12-18

Posts 42
beloit wi usa

14 posted 2002-01-04 10:08 PM

zukene_chic-
that waz cool. next time he bothers you just shoot him(jk)! well if u cant tell him off good. he deserves it. later chic.

GOD's greatist gift is LOVE

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

15 posted 2002-01-05 12:02 PM

Good, I can critique! (I hate it when poeple dont allow critiques....They might as well just say "I only accept praises on my poetry")

Anyway!
I'm with Stace here...Twasn't one of my favorite reads of the day. I dunno, free verse and grudge-filled venting poems are always my FAVORITE in the world...but this, this just had no real poetic feel to it...It was just...there. Just plain-jane sentences...I wasn't feeling it. But then again, not everyone "feels" things formt he same poem...obviously a few others in here did...Maybe I'm just missing something?

I think if you brought some sense of a meter into it, or emphasized words or made it a bit longr and had some sort of cynical tone to it...who knows though...just some thoughts of mine.

"I'd rather die purposely alone than to have lived an accidental life of solitude."- Jesa "§ùgã®" Thompson

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

16 posted 2002-01-05 12:19 PM

Whoa. The title grabbed me there.
I wish I could say something to help you out, but I'm probably the last person in the world who should be giving relationship advice.

"The dust of the travelled road shall touch my hands and face"
Carl Sandburg

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

17 posted 2002-01-08 11:51 AM

Well I'm with Jesa. Now I love how the anger sits in this piece, almost poised to grow. You could get so much into this if you just put some length into it. Great start to it tho.

Jenn

"You are the strength, that keeps me walking- you are the hope that keeps me trusting."

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