Teen Poetry #5 |
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he deserved it |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
I could see it in your eyes, you weren't jokin'. I coud feel the anger, in those words that were spoken. I relived what you had said, "he's taken my friend, now he's gonna pay." As you walked up to him, he just stood there, nothing did he say. But then niether did you, as you slapped him across the face. He didn't speak a word, he just stood in his place. Again and again, you shouted and you swore. You hit him harder, until he hit the floor. But he got up again, I seen his eyes flash. The he started yelling, and the battle of words began to clash. You weren't letting him walk away, uh uh, not this time. You're giving him punishment, as though his actions were a crime. Though he did deserve, everything he's gonna get. This battle he's not gonna win, on this you can bet! ~If u luv something, let it go,if it comes back 2 u, its urs, if it doesnt, it never wuz..~DMX |
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© Copyright 2001 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
I like narrative poetry because I'm always anxious to see the ending, and you ended this one very well!! Nice work here!! ![]() ![]() *~Fighting for your love~* |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
OOooOOooOOoo I LIKED IT A LOT!!!! BRAVO ![]() ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Booya!! The passion in this seriously rocks! I could totally see this guy getting slapped in the face. Now THAT is rewarding. ![]() Thanks for sharing. Remember to reply to others work also, please. ~AF~ If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life. |
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Jenabou Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 215Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA |
You painted a very clear image in my mind with this one Wondefully written great job The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
It's so extremely vivid and clear! Very well written. I love it. -Rich Don't Drink and Park! |
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