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Teen Poetry #5
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As true yet as wrong
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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As true yet as wrong |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
As true as the worthy leaf, leaves its homely tree nowhere to go but to glide with liberty. Speechless, lifeless yet telling so many tales. Breezing through its journey open air, letting it pass deep in flight. ^*~*^ As wrong as the leaf falls from its branch, crashing to the ground, in a deadly form. Taking only the role of a corpse never letting its tale be told or its actions to be sold. Gently failing to take flight, and becoming one of Autumns victims. ^*~*^ As true as I thought we were in love, in a passionate, scented tale hearing your echoing "I love you's" and knowing that it would prevail. ^*~*^ As wrong as you didn't love me, you scarred and broke my heart telling your hidden lies, whilst knowing we were apart. "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Kimberley Mason - All Rights Reserved | |||
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
i love this! it rocks. i love the last stanza, it just totally brought everything together. GREAT JOB!!! write more! hehehe Valerie "...And i want to take you down, but your soul could not be found, doesn't matter much you see cause your disease is killing me..." -Saliva |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Wow Kim. This really impressed me. I loved the whole thing! Very Well written. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This poem rocks!! THe first two stanzas about the leaves were very well written, I was impressed by those alone, but the way you tied the last two stanzas into that was aweosme! VERY well done! Impressive indeed. Nice work. I REALLY enjoyed this. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Wow! I REALLY liked this. The way you explained the 2 different views... The True and the Wrong... Wow. This was really impressive, I liked it a lot. Keep postin your stuff!  - Cody - |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
very good! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
written very well...enjoyed this a LOT...impressed  ...hope to see more!im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work KK I really enjoyed the read. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
"As wrong as the leaf falls from its branch, crashing to the ground, in a deadly form" I loved this! The leaf was a great object to refer to. And I loved the lines ^ there. Great job! *Amanda* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this was awesome. How you compared a dead leaf to your dead love. I really liked this one.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
*applauds* That is very very impressive I loved it keep it up hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Wonderful! There is only one thing that drove me close to insanity and that was how you changed the length of your stanzas. Maybe it's just me, but it seems to run better when they are all the same length. Anyway, it was all good and you should be really happy with the finished result. ~AF~ Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me... |
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