Teen Poetry #5 |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
this river called life sweeps me away i can't get my footing slipping in the clay the currents over power as i sink to my knees and feel the cold water above me below me surrounded by it's deep power i close my eyes and let it pull me away... away from this life that i once knew away from this sorrow inflicted by you away from the feelings that make me cry away from your words that held only lies -bergundy- maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio- [This message has been edited by fearing-laughter (edited 12-18-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 bergundy - All Rights Reserved | |||
TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
This is a really awsome poem one of the best I have read lately.I loved it keep up the great work. Lauren "I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
thanks lauren! lol i feel all happy that someone actually replied, hurrah! it's kool to hear other people's opinion on stuff. well bye bye! -bergundy- |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I thought this poem was really good...it really expressed how you feel and thats great ![]() ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Alyssa![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
lol ur critique message reminds me of the song control by puddle of mudd anyways back to the poem... interesting it is..yes i enjoyed it ....Handle with care... |
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lone_poet707 Member
since 2001-11-17
Posts 70black hole named Aylmer |
this is a great piece, keep writing! -Joe |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
aye, thanks again everyone =) although it feels like i am replying the most to my own stuff...lol oh well, i'm just bored. -bergundy- maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio- |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i think you expressed yourself as you would have liked the situation to be put into words...i liked the poem. Hey...#25437 |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
wow... awesome poem! can't wait to see more from you! |
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prov1717 Member
since 2001-12-26
Posts 74NE |
hey this is a great poem, i can relate, keep them coming! |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow, this is a very well-written poem. You expressed some pretty heavy emotions here, and you did it well. I loved the ending. It closed very well.. and I enjoyed the metaphor as a whole. Job well done! --Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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