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Rain
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Rain |
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SmileyClar Junior Member
since 2001-11-23
Posts 16nowhere anymore |
Rain rain, go away, come again another day I used to sing, Now I don’t. I used to pray, Now I won’t. I used to laugh, Now I cry. I used to live, Now I die. Rain rain, come today, hide my tears, my life’s decay yeah, randomness. I just sometimes wish things were back to what they used to be like, so simple... Smiley-Most of the time Clarinet-All the time [This message has been edited by SmileyClar (edited 12-15-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 SmileyClar - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
that's nice  the poem, of course, not how you feel. I wish things could be the way they used to be, too, but life goes on.For now, all I can do is dream. |
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[Ice Box] Junior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 21Canada |
The famous rhyme at the beginning of the poem reminded me of myself as a child sitting by the window, wanting to go out to play. I thought this suited this poem very well. And I liked how you changed it at the end. There were a lot of things we used to do that we have forgotten or neglected. Times change, sometimes not always for the best. The only thing we can really do is have the best outlook on things, to be a little more optimisitc. Sometimes, hope isn't enough. If we want it, we gotta do something about it. The last line where you changed the rhyme around made me think that rain, being a symbolic connotation of sadness, is acting as some kind of hiding place for your own sadness, almost like a double entendre. It made this piece more effective at the end, than if you hadn't put in the last line. I'm sorry you're feeling down. I hope everything goes well for you in the future. Thanks for sharing! [Ice Box] Cold. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Try finding the beauty in rain The life it gives together with sunlight beautiful write, keep em coming là où est mon amour? |
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