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angel_2401
Member

since 2001-06-12

Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH

0 posted 2001-12-03 08:24 PM

A Reflection

She lived in a big city
Close to her family and friends
She had to leave it at age 9

She now lives in a little town
Surrounded again by friends
She loves where she is now

She's had many problems
Many hard times in her life
She's gotten through them all

She has been hurt by love before
Many guys have walked out the door
She moved on to love again still

She's having the time of her life now
Happy with friends and being in love
She's got her life the way she wants

She still has a lot of life to live
Ready and willing to face whats there
She leaves her reflecting to another day

I'm not just A Princess, I'm THE Princess!!!!! ~*~I love Matt!~*~

Poet Unknown
Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 140
Missouri

1 posted 2001-12-03 08:32 PM

*nods solemly* awesome

Do as you please....strike forth down upon your knees...Darkness Falls on Those Without Souls

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-12-03 08:58 PM

This is pretty good. I enjoyed the way you portrayed the story, but I think using "she" gets very redundant, and the fact that it's used many times can be distracting. I understand that you're tryng to write third-person, but that's just a suggestion.

Anywho, nice work. I like how you decided to do three lines in a stanza. That worked well, and played out in a good meter, despite the absense of rhyme. Very nice work

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

3 posted 2001-12-04 10:06 AM

I agree with Maree, a little too many shes
But all in all the story is narrated beautifully
thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

4 posted 2001-12-04 01:09 PM

i liked the story a lot, it gave me a picture of someone in particular, which is always good times. keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

5 posted 2001-12-05 10:09 AM

This was cute how you put a story into a poem..i like that a lot..nicely done

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

6 posted 2001-12-05 08:17 PM

i remember reading this last night and posting a reply...i dont know why it didnt post *glares at her puter*....
i liked the poem VERY much thanks krissy....i liked how you started when the girl was young and had to move and find new friends...and then got up to the present day im glad youre happy..you should be

...thanks for sharing this

i luve mi con-tray! lyke a big an brown stetch olan wiv losa sun!

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