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Teen Poetry #5
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cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky

0 posted 2002-06-22 09:00 PM


Hey WAIT!
That’s supposed to be me!
No!
Come back!
My Turn!
That’s our special ‘thing-to-do’
Why does SHE get to do it?
WAIT I’m supposed to ride the roller coasters with you!
I’m supposed to ‘help’ you work!
Why them?
What happened to me!?
HELLO!
Can you hear ME!?
Don’t you remember ME?
The one you spent nearly 16
YEARS with
Hey WAKE UP
I’m gonna be gone soon
I have the whole world at my finger tips
You’ll want this time soon
YOU will be asking me to notice you
But for now, it’s not like that
I NEED the attention
Everything else comes first
Work
Friends
Mom
Brother
Sister
Why can’t I be the one in your lap again?
Is it so much to ask?
To just be DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL?

[This message has been edited by cutiepiesugarbabie (06-24-2002 11:37 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 cutiepiesugarbabie - All Rights Reserved
Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419

1 posted 2002-06-22 10:32 PM


This is a really creative write, and very well written one. alot of good painted pictures. AWESOME!!!

Keep 'em comin'

Ezt,-

Neosaphire
Junior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 20
Oklahoma City
2 posted 2002-06-22 11:03 PM


ooo....not much I can say to that one, good use of understatement by having the delivery and word tone parallel the meaning of the poem. Very clear, powerful.
cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
3 posted 2002-06-23 10:27 AM


Thanks Guys!  

o*~Everyone makes mistakes at one time or another...what separates the weak from the strong is who can learn from them and continue one, then make dif

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
4 posted 2002-06-24 11:40 AM


hehe whoops I accidentaly posted the poem twice in a row...
but i fixed it now! hehe (psst guys i need more feed back )

o*~Everyone makes mistakes-get over them and make more tomorrow!~*o

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
5 posted 2002-06-24 11:40 AM


hehe whoops I accidentaly posted the poem twice in a row...
but i fixed it now! hehe (psst guys i need more feed back )

o*~Everyone makes mistakes-get over them and make more tomorrow!~*o

songsoftheaftermath
Member
since 2002-06-19
Posts 84
a world of disarray
6 posted 2002-06-26 04:10 AM


heheh..you keep posting a gazzilion times!!

um..this sounded a little too attention seeking to me...but then again this is a situation where you've been used to all this attention and having it taken away from you. i dont know how to improve it...but it was a nice write and insight into your psyche...attention seeker... *tee-hee*

could the darkness be my friend?

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
7 posted 2002-09-14 10:19 PM


its not like just loosing attention in one night...it's a slow proccess...and then one day u realize they dont even notice ur there...the younger ones have replaced u...its not about being a lil brat whose jealous of her brother and sister...

o*~Everyone makes mistakes-get over them and make more tomorrow!~*o

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