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NathanS
Member

since 2001-09-27

Posts 106
CA

0 posted 2001-11-29 10:01 PM

Hm.. haven't posted in a bit- but i've responded to a few posts. Anyhow, i didn't want to make people go out of their way to respond to 2 poems if they even respond to this (especially since i haven't been fully active here) So here are two poems. The first i just wrote... so it may stink, may not. The second one i wrote a while back, and wanted to share (Cuz i don't think i have yet)

-That which i'll never get-

How much do you want,
what your eyes cannot touch,
How often do you long,
for what you cannot take ahold,
How far will you go,
with what lurks ahead,
How long will you love,
something you'll never get.

In all this... remember,
I love you,
but i can't seem to forget,
that which i'll never get.

(btw/ the above doesn't really relate to me)

-Something but Nothing-

My love for you is forever
perhaps

My thoughts on life are good
most of the time

The things i do are bad
but good things happen to

I drive a nice car
but mine is ugly

I like my job
but hate my work

My School is awesome
but i dont like it

Things in life are mixed
life is straight forward..

And God never changes.

-Dreys

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2001-11-29 10:43 PM

hmmmmm..two very interesting pieces dreys...
the second one was a bit perplexing till you got to the end....but then again you could have left us to finish it off. im not sure. i liked em both- you really should post here more often. thanks for sharing

i luve mi con-tray! lyke a big an brown stetch olan wiv losa sun!

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-12-01 01:49 AM

I really like these two poems... both very thought provoking.

The end of the first is what really got me. I don't really understand it... but then again, that's just me. It's better than misinterpreting it.

The second was awesome. I REALLY liked that one. The way you wrote it was creative, and kept me reading. The ending really hit me. Very nice work with both of these. Two creative ways to look on things.

Nice work!

--Marie

(And thanks for the replying, and being active at PIP... tres cool!)

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

Streen
Member

since 2001-11-28

Posts 169

3 posted 2001-12-01 10:03 AM

I really liked your second one. It is very creative and has an awesome ending. Keep up the writing! ^_^

-Derek

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

4 posted 2001-12-03 02:02 PM

I enjoyed both of the poems that you posted..as for the first one..you always want what you cant have..its a rule of life..just like the grass is always greener on the other side...ya know?? The second one was also very good..nice job!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

prov1717
Member

since 2001-12-26

Posts 74
NE

5 posted 2001-12-27 12:56 PM

these are two great poems! i liked the second one...esp the ending, its something that we need to be reminded of sometimes....please keep them coming!

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

6 posted 2001-12-28 12:06 PM

I really liked the first one. The second one held my attention until the last line. Then it went away.
They both cry out for praise so here it is: WELL DONE!