Teen Poetry #5 |
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We Rose Two |
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Streen Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169![]() |
We Rose Two Friday night, waiting in the hotel lobby for you, I felt anxious; From miles away, over speckled fields, through Aeolus’s realm of cumuli I came for you. That day my plane arrived my heart did, too. In the hotel lobby, uncomfortable on a leather couch feet tapping fountain lapping I sat waiting, until a car pulled up, my heart leapt up My breath was pulsing; beats of oxygen drowning, blood swimming. A heather suddenly blooming walked into the the door, the doorway framing the floral beauty of the figure of the flower that blossomed through the door. Out into the grove Close we were holding, our hearts reeling, beneath that ancient Shagbark with wooden petals that, peeling, were falling to our feet. What a joy it was, under antediluvian arboretum to true love first meet. That weekend, a few of the moon’s rotations, the days fused As our hearts did, too. Monday rolled its way around a hated crime our time was near at an end before we would have to part and separate our heart. Nearby a lake we strolled, while the noontime closer rolled when the loons closer mulled over crumbs of bread we overthrew. So the lake did shine forth a brilliant array of God’s glory, but my bosom shrank, the day was dank. My good hopes sank that day into the depths where the unwanted bread crumbs lay. But Beauty beside me smiled with merriment anew My Heather was happy, so I could be, too. Her smile was radiant, her eyes were a-shine, I loved her so much, this woman of mine. We got into a taxi arrived at the airport my heart was dying cheeks never drying I held her, I kissed her; Dear God, I would miss her. Together we were one combined But now the plane was boarding at gate concourse “a fifty nine” I said my farewells and walking down the plane aisle, this rare and hallowed maiden with blue-hued eyes mourned from afar gazing to me through a window. The plane began to rumble and churn, as I stared from one pane to another. I lifted through the air clenching tufts of my hair. I kept on crying The lids of my eyes would not screw shut Despair seemed its worst I could not see ahead To where our future may lay For my vision would cloud with crystalline patterns and nary a flower be in sight For tempestuous cumuli would nubilate the sky hailing and assailing upon our hearth And yet in the winter though away we would be Our love was not an emberless dearth. A flowery bell ringing true through the snow by which we would cut through the hiemnal flow; My Heather and I lifted, not drifted, into the clouds. That day my plane arose our hearts did two. |
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© Copyright 2001 Derek Benz - All Rights Reserved | |||
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Streen: Incredible. This was definately a treat to read. Even though I myself am not a fan of love poems, this one is a definate exception. ^_^ The metaphorical and symbolic connotations of roses really brought out the themes in this piece. ^^ The hotel scenes were described so well, it was as if I was there, feeling the exact same things, seeing the exact same images...this is indeed true poetry. ^___^ I also like the homophone you used in your title. It made me curious, but once I got the just of it, I thought it was clever. Again, a much enjoyed piece that I won't mind reading more than once. Thank you. ^_^ You're definately becoming one of my favorite poets at PIP. Keep writing! ^___^ ++ Leah ++ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
WOW!....wow oh wow streen!!i was totally captivated by this from the very start! ![]() this is AWESOME! i loved the read. i cant wait to read more from you- MORE i say! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I was about to reply to this, but it's 2 in the morning, and I'm quite tired. So I'm coming back when I'm more awake to give an in-depth reply for ya... ![]() See ya then... --Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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