Teen Poetry #5 |
T h i n k |
Yoda Junior Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 19 |
Ripped up the pretty scripts that you tried to make me swallow What a silly prediction, that I'd suck on your lollies even when I hate the way they taste Like waiting in a lobby with old beat up magazines to help you forget that it's lacking a fine point When I was writing on the walls in a bathroom stall I heard a girl singing "Jesus Loves Me" as she took care of her business If it were any other day I'd laugh but today it's pretty and feel the love on the walls despite the horrible smell of human waste You know its been a good day when you come home, realize you forgot your key again, and decide to climb through the doggie door instead of complaining [This message has been edited by Yoda (edited 11-28-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Yoda - All Rights Reserved | |||
Poet Unknown Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 140Missouri |
hmm interesting.... Do as you please....strike forth down upon your knees...Darkness Falls on Those Without Souls |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Ineresting poem. Lauren |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
"If it were any other day I'd laugh" you know, this really DID make me think. you painted a somewhat contemporay picture of what i would guess to be a "day in the life of...". i ejoyed this first post from you a lot. i liked the bitterness of it, and the hope at the end. i think you did a very good job of this one i hope you enjoy sharing and reading within these walls. im looking forward to reading more of your work please check your email for a special greeting ~cherish/mod |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
welcome. this was interesting...I hope to read more from you. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sounds like you were having a really bad day...until you heard Jesus loves me... which perhaps was the saving grace you needed. Look forward to more from you... |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
W*E*L*C*O*M*E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well this is definately an interesting one...very creative!! I can tell already that im going to enjoy reading your work Its nice to have you join us and i cant wait to read more from you...the whole thing made me think..hmmmm ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
staying away from the ordinary and the overused is always a good thing when it comes to poetry, and you certainly did a good job of that. i look forward to reading more from you, welcome to passions. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey, i thought this was really great. Haha, I mean besides the ending being a bit like "hahaish" it was awesome. I think you wrote this one very well. Welcome to passions. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
ok, just the way this poem clicks with me makes me feel as if i just was there..its so totally weird i dunno but i really enjoyed this alot..im printing it and takin it to school even! If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. |
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