Teen Poetry #5 |
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Road of Love's Loss |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Hey, Pips! I haven't posted any poetry here in ahwile...so, here's my big comback debut! Road of Love's Loss- Down the road of Love's Loss... Each house is filled with painful memories. "I love you" and "We'll always be together---" Her heartfelt promises broken on a whim. Paved with happiness and laughter, The now tear soaked road remains broken---and crashed. Each house entered bring now hurt... New reminders of old emotions. As night transcends...her vioce crys, "I hate you!", "Get away from me" "What did I ever do?", I call back. "All I ever did was fall in love..." ------------- Yeah, you can tell I wrote that recently... ~ Alex "To be forgotten is much worse than death!" |
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© Copyright 2001 Alex-lee Hryhorczuk - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
Alex, dude welcome back!...think this had imagery well protrayed...and you did a well job on the expression of emotions. "I love you" and "We'll always be together---" Her heartfelt promises broken on a whim." those verses feels TRULY like a memory when read. nice. =) |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
Um I thought it was cool it sounds like you fell in love with someone who is afraid of others loving her as i start to analize someone i don't know.... as i said tho i thought it was pretty cool |
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SunShine913![]()
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
OMG welcome back and i LOVE this sooooooooo much .. your lucky im a friend and im nice or i would steal it hehe... well anyways keep writing so i can keep reading~! *!~!* Andrea *!~!* |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
OOOOOOOOH..yay! youre posting again.. ![]() ![]() good piece kiddo- A liked it so much she wants to steal it ![]() liked it bunches alex...thanks for sharing.. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Wow! Andrea, Cherish, 'Bert and Moongirl. Wow! I didn't think I was missed that much! *sigh* Wow, to mean something to somebody really feels good! Thanks! ^_^ I'll be sure to post here more often! "To be forgotten is much worse than death!" |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I can relate so much.Good to see you back. Great post. I can totally relate to this one, especially the last few lines.Hope you stick around. Jon "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
"All I ever did was fall in love..." How come falling in love always ends with so much pain? I guess that's why it's called "falling", huh? This was really heartfelt, and I really liked the way you put dialogue into it. The last line was smashing, I loved it! Hope you get over the pain you've expressed. ![]() ![]() ~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~ |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Aaaaawww....thanks guys! ^_^* "To be forgotten is much worse than death!" |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I guess vixen has already expressed my thoughts hope things go your way soon thanks for sharing là où est mon amour? |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
great writing! very different, very good!!! loved it ![]() Salma |
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Alyssa![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
whoa... I LuV 2 fReAk out saLEpeEpZ. ThEy AsK me If tHey CaN heLp Me, & I sAy,'HaVe U gOT NEthINg Id like?'TheN thEy aSk mE wuT sIZe I sAy "X-tr MedIuM" |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
Wow this one hit home...good write, and good to see your poetry again. Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel... A tes souhaits... A tes amours... Qu ils restent. J'ai t'adore. Je t'aime. |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
LMAO, I guess you can say that my favourite responce was "Whoa..." Thanks y'all! "Fighting was the only thing I was good at...but I at least I always fought for what I beleived in..." |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
OOOOooo Loved the whole road and eahc house being sort of a different emotion....Totally awesome idea there. Thumbs up to you, deary. ![]() "I'd rather die purposely alone than to have lived an accidental life of solitude."- Jesa "§ùgã®" Thompson |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Yay!!!!! Your writing in here again ![]() ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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ShortSexyAngelOnEarth Junior Member
since 2001-12-24
Posts 36im a louisiana cajun princess! lol |
hey y'all, i used to post on here a lot, i was shortsexyangel, then when i came back i couldnt remember my password, and my email has changed since then, so.... lol, i have a new name, and im gonna try to rply to a lot poems before i put any of my stuff up. Android: your poem really hit home for me, just not in a good way. see, i related to the girl you were i guess talking to in the poem, because i have a problem committing even when i want to. i guess i get scared. anyways, thanks, its made me think about a lot of stuff. |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
That's the point of my work actually...to express myself and/or to get people to think! (OW! It's hurting! Lol) Wow, this is the most feedback I've gotten outta a poem! Thanks y'all! ~ Alex Surrender now, or prepare to fight! |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Welcome back! I like this poem... it hit me very hard. Love lost sucks, indeed. But everything heals with time. It just takes some hearts longer than others. *hugs* Good luck. Enjoyed, as always, Alex. Hope to see more soon! --Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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prov1717 Member
since 2001-12-26
Posts 74NE |
hey i enjoyed this very much and i look forward to reading more! |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Thank you both sooo much! Surrender now, or prepare to fight! |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Geeze....that last line is so powerful! It seriously knocks you out of your chair. Wow...amazing work, Alex. One to definitely be proud of. There is a lot of passion in this and it brings everything inside of you to a head. Wow once again... ![]() Thanks so much for sharing this. Enjoyed the read! ![]() ~AF~ If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life. |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Wow...I never knew this poem was THIS great! Lol, I feel so loved... Surrender now, or prepare to fight! |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
i liked this poem a lot! great work! robin repeat after me: punk is the best music ever created! |
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Domzi Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 288New York (BK) |
This is a great write! Poetry is spiritual ventilation! |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
I blink---and come back to see NEW replies! Thanks y'all! Surrender now, or prepare to fight! |
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Vegeta New Member
since 2002-01-04
Posts 2Um---Canada? |
Hmmm...this is about sarah, eh? sorry man... Go out and do something---for that's all that life is...a series of moments... |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Thanks Joe...Thanks! The trick is to know when to walk away---and TO KNOW WHEN TO RUN!!! |
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LCsftball16 Junior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 39 |
okay... well i'm the last to post, but whatever lol. i found this piece ultimately breath-taking... I LOVE IT! |
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PoetryIsLife![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Hey, dude, I loved it. ![]() ![]() This one line is the only thing that seemed a bit off to me: Each house entered bring now hurt... I'm not sure why, it just stumbled me a bit. Check your email man. Talk soon mate. ![]() Sincerely, Titus I am me, living in my dreams. |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
This is a really great poem... "All I ever did was fall in love..." This is in my opinion the best part of the poem...It sums the whole thing up.. Thanks for sharing it!!! ![]() If you want something very badly, set it free. If it comes back to you, its yours forever, if it doesnt, it was never yours to begin with" |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Thanks! I can't beleive how many people are replying to this! The trick is to know when to walk away---and TO KNOW WHEN TO RUN!!! |
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