Teen Poetry #5 |
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I See You |
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PoetryIsLife![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... ![]() |
I see you You see me We pass We grasp Was that a connection? Or was it nothing? Do our souls connect? Are they bitter enemies? I want a love Is it you? We don’t want a one nighter but what of this one second? Isn’t it just as bad? This moment, I reach for it It yells at me Does it scream at you? Can’t you feel it??? Don’t let it go! Please tell me... (what should we do?) |
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© Copyright 2001 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved | |||
PoetryIsLife![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
This is one of my first poems ever, but it's one of my favorite; it remains very special to me. That said, if you don't like it, never fear! Tear it to shreads! (Kindly, of course!) ![]() Sincerely, Titus "....this time I was mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking." Nickelback |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
oh you made me remember someone very dear in my heart with this ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was such a great poem!!! I enjoyed it a lot.. ![]() ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Dalink, I could NEVER tear it to shreds! Especially if I really really really really really really really like it! It's definately a different format from what I've read from you so far. Thanks for the read! ~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!? |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
"I want a love Is it you?" one verse at a time...i like it making the thoughts between each other more real. enjoyed the piece. and tis not a cult! lol. =) |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
The breaks between each line force you to think about what you are reading in separate thoughts. It's like, while in the few seconds that you are passing this person, a million thoughts go through your mind. And that happens to me every time I walk past somebody I have feelings for in the school hallway or anywhere else. And you wonder if they ever feel any of what you feel for them, yet the answer remains a mystery. Great work!! ![]() ![]() ~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~ |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
i want a love is it you? i like that line and i need to asak someone that question. uh rhon? hehehe titus is mine and mine only!!! *glares at rhonda* |
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DawnG![]() ![]()
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
I really loved this poem. Thanks for sharing. Dawn |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
![]() WOW!![]() Dude! I absolutely LOVE this. The breaks/pauses between each line, the way you chose to word things....The whole thing rocked! *Click* INto the library it goes! ![]() "I'd rather die purposely alone than to have lived an accidental life of solitude."- Jesa "§ùgã®" Thompson |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Wow... This was great. One of the best I've read. Makes you think and feel so much... Awesome! I can relate to it so much. Great write, it's goin to my library. - Cody - |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
I really liked this one...it was very well written and flowed beautifully...thanks for sharing ~Nikki~ Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it... |
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PoetryIsLife![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
*jaw drops* Dude, thank you all so much. I appreciate the luvvvv... ![]() Sincerely, Titus |
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PoetryIsLife![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Do you mind if I bring this back up? It's one very near and dear to me... just wanted to share it with the newbies. ![]() If this 'bump' is wrong, let me know and close the thread. ![]() ~ Titus "My body is merely the canvas of my soul." |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hmmm... now what does THIS remind me of? You know, I don't remember reading this the first time, but I must have, cause I replied... *shakes head* I think I'm losing it |
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PoetryIsLife![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
I think you are.... ![]() Sincerely, Titus "I'll prepare myself, and one day my time will come." |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
Hrm....souls playing peek a boo!? lol sorry..no I'm glad I came across this..loved it as usual! and most definately reflecting something that I'm feeling at this moment...guess i'm getting back in the groove of things!!! ![]() Kristen |
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SunShine913![]()
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
HEY hun i loved this .. then again i have always loved your work .. yes i dont think you remember me but it is me Read_what_i_write .. been coming and going alot in the past year but im here for good now~ ![]() *!~!* Andrea *!~!* |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
"This moment, I reach for it It yells at me Does it scream at you?" Smashing. ![]() "you don't need one of these to let me inside of you" T.A. |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
Wow... I never could write as well as you anyway. ![]() I LOVE YOU! *kisses you* hehehe... |
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Marshalzu![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Fairly simplistic and annoyingly presented but a wonderful read ![]() Andrew |
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PoetryIsLife![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Uh... thanks, Zu? ![]() It was my first poem dude. I'm very attached to this piece. ![]() ~Titus Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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