Teen Poetry #5 |
I See You |
PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
I see you You see me We pass We grasp Was that a connection? Or was it nothing? Do our souls connect? Are they bitter enemies? I want a love Is it you? We don’t want a one nighter but what of this one second? Isn’t it just as bad? This moment, I reach for it It yells at me Does it scream at you? Can’t you feel it??? Don’t let it go! Please tell me... (what should we do?) |
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© Copyright 2001 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved | |||
PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
This is one of my first poems ever, but it's one of my favorite; it remains very special to me. That said, if you don't like it, never fear! Tear it to shreads! (Kindly, of course!) Sincerely, Titus "....this time I was mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking." Nickelback |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
oh you made me remember someone very dear in my heart with this I had a friend in high school, everytime I saw him, we'd hug. I wanted to be his girlfriend, I don't think he ever knew that. *sigh* still think of him I liked this very much |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was such a great poem!!! I enjoyed it a lot.. ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Dalink, I could NEVER tear it to shreds! Especially if I really really really really really really really like it! It's definately a different format from what I've read from you so far. Thanks for the read! ~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!? |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
"I want a love Is it you?" one verse at a time...i like it making the thoughts between each other more real. enjoyed the piece. and tis not a cult! lol. =) |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
The breaks between each line force you to think about what you are reading in separate thoughts. It's like, while in the few seconds that you are passing this person, a million thoughts go through your mind. And that happens to me every time I walk past somebody I have feelings for in the school hallway or anywhere else. And you wonder if they ever feel any of what you feel for them, yet the answer remains a mystery. Great work!! ~*Nikki*~ ~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~ |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
i want a love is it you? i like that line and i need to asak someone that question. uh rhon? hehehe titus is mine and mine only!!! *glares at rhonda* |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
I really loved this poem. Thanks for sharing. Dawn |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
WOW!Dude! I absolutely LOVE this. The breaks/pauses between each line, the way you chose to word things....The whole thing rocked! *Click* INto the library it goes! "I'd rather die purposely alone than to have lived an accidental life of solitude."- Jesa "§ùgã®" Thompson |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Wow... This was great. One of the best I've read. Makes you think and feel so much... Awesome! I can relate to it so much. Great write, it's goin to my library. - Cody - |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
I really liked this one...it was very well written and flowed beautifully...thanks for sharing ~Nikki~ Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it... |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
*jaw drops* Dude, thank you all so much. I appreciate the luvvvv... A great New Year to all my Pip friends. God bless! Sincerely, Titus |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Do you mind if I bring this back up? It's one very near and dear to me... just wanted to share it with the newbies. If this 'bump' is wrong, let me know and close the thread. ~ Titus "My body is merely the canvas of my soul." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hmmm... now what does THIS remind me of? You know, I don't remember reading this the first time, but I must have, cause I replied... *shakes head* I think I'm losing it |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
I think you are.... Sincerely, Titus "I'll prepare myself, and one day my time will come." |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
Hrm....souls playing peek a boo!? lol sorry..no I'm glad I came across this..loved it as usual! and most definately reflecting something that I'm feeling at this moment...guess i'm getting back in the groove of things!!! Kristen |
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SunShine913
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
HEY hun i loved this .. then again i have always loved your work .. yes i dont think you remember me but it is me Read_what_i_write .. been coming and going alot in the past year but im here for good now~ *!~!* Andrea *!~!* |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
"This moment, I reach for it It yells at me Does it scream at you?" Smashing. "you don't need one of these to let me inside of you" T.A. |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
Wow... I never could write as well as you anyway. Beautiful, Titus. I loved it. I LOVE YOU! *kisses you* hehehe... |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Fairly simplistic and annoyingly presented but a wonderful read Andrew |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Uh... thanks, Zu? It was my first poem dude. I'm very attached to this piece. ~Titus Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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