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Teen Poetry #5
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PoetryIsLife
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0 posted 2001-11-12 09:54 AM


I see you

You see me

We pass

We grasp

Was that a connection?

Or was it nothing?

Do our souls connect?

Are they bitter enemies?

I want a love

Is it you?

We don’t want a one nighter

but what of this one second?

Isn’t it just as bad?

This moment, I reach for it

It yells at me

Does it scream at you?

Can’t you feel it??? Don’t let it go!

Please tell me...

(what should we do?)

© Copyright 2001 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved
PoetryIsLife
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1 posted 2001-11-12 09:57 AM


This is one of my first poems ever, but it's one of my favorite; it remains very special to me. That said, if you don't like it, never fear! Tear it to shreads! (Kindly, of course!)  

Sincerely,
Titus

"....this time I was mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking." Nickelback

"Old Men Love While Young Men Die" Kipling

SEA
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2 posted 2001-11-12 01:48 PM


oh you made me remember someone very dear in my heart with this   I had a friend in high school, everytime I saw him, we'd hug. I wanted to be his girlfriend, I don't think he ever knew that. *sigh* still think of him   I liked this very much  
xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2001-11-13 01:30 PM


This was such a great poem!!! I enjoyed it a lot..

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Skyfire
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4 posted 2001-11-13 08:54 PM


Dalink, I could NEVER tear it to shreds! Especially if I really really really really really really really like it! It's definately a different format from what I've read from you so far. Thanks for the read!

~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!?

~Love me because I am Rhonda

anonymous albert ?
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5 posted 2001-11-14 02:27 PM


"I want a love

Is it you?"

one verse at a time...i like it making the thoughts between each other more real. enjoyed the piece. and tis not a cult! lol.

=)

vixengrl04
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6 posted 2001-11-15 06:51 PM


The breaks between each line force you to think about what you are reading in separate thoughts.  It's like, while in the few seconds that you are passing this person, a million thoughts go through your mind.  And that happens to me every time I walk past somebody I have feelings for in the school hallway or anywhere else.  And you wonder if they ever feel any of what you feel for them, yet the answer remains a mystery.  Great work!!  

~*Nikki*~

~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~
AIM sn: nikkigrl2004

punkrockerrobin
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7 posted 2001-11-26 03:11 AM


i want a love is it you?

i like that line and i need to asak someone that question. uh rhon? hehehe

titus is mine and mine only!!! *glares at rhonda*
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STREGTHENS ME! PHILIPPIANS 4:13
love me for i am PUNK!

DawnG
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8 posted 2001-11-26 12:54 PM


I really loved this poem. Thanks for sharing.

                                Dawn

Spice
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9 posted 2001-12-24 01:31 AM


WOW!



Dude! I absolutely LOVE this. The breaks/pauses between each line, the way you chose to word things....The whole thing rocked! *Click* INto the library it goes!

"I'd rather die purposely alone than to have lived an accidental life of solitude."- Jesa "§ùgã®" Thompson
  

CwboyAtHeart
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10 posted 2001-12-24 03:03 AM


Wow...  This was great.  One of the best I've read.  Makes you think and feel so much...  Awesome!  I can relate to it so much.  Great write, it's goin to my library.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

Shygirl82
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11 posted 2001-12-24 03:54 AM


I really liked this one...it was very well written and flowed beautifully...thanks for sharing
~Nikki~

Smile!!  You never know who may be falling in love with it...

PoetryIsLife
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12 posted 2001-12-26 01:16 PM


*jaw drops* Dude, thank you all so much. I appreciate the luvvvv... A great New Year to all my Pip friends. God bless!

Sincerely,
Titus

PoetryIsLife
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13 posted 2002-03-21 02:18 AM


Do you mind if I bring this back up? It's one very near and dear to me... just wanted to share it with the newbies.

If this 'bump' is wrong, let me know and close the thread.

~ Titus

"My body is merely the canvas of my soul."
         ~ The Night Owl

Skyfire
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14 posted 2002-08-18 11:09 PM


Hmmm... now what does THIS remind me of? You know, I don't remember reading this the first time, but I must have, cause I replied... *shakes head* I think I'm losing it
PoetryIsLife
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15 posted 2002-08-21 04:55 PM


I think you are....

Sincerely,
Titus

"I'll prepare myself, and one day my time will come."
            -Abraham Lincoln

Ceinwyn
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16 posted 2002-08-24 03:23 PM


Hrm....souls playing peek a boo!? lol sorry..no I'm glad I came across this..loved it as usual! and most definately reflecting something that I'm feeling at this moment...guess i'm getting back in the groove of things!!!

Kristen

SunShine913
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17 posted 2002-08-24 04:34 PM


HEY hun i loved this .. then again i have always loved your work .. yes i dont think you remember me but it is me Read_what_i_write .. been coming and going alot in the past year but im here for good now~

            *!~!* Andrea *!~!*
             soon to be mother    

Dark Enchantress
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18 posted 2002-08-24 08:52 PM


"This moment, I reach for it

It yells at me

Does it scream at you?"

Smashing.

"you don't need one of these to let me inside of you" T.A.

Kielo
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19 posted 2002-08-25 11:37 PM


Wow... I never could write as well as you anyway. Beautiful, Titus. I loved it.

I LOVE YOU! *kisses you* hehehe...

Marshalzu
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20 posted 2003-01-31 02:57 PM


Fairly simplistic and annoyingly presented but a wonderful read

Andrew

PoetryIsLife
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21 posted 2003-01-31 07:50 PM


Uh... thanks, Zu?

It was my first poem dude. I'm very attached to this piece.

~Titus

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
                 --Aldous Huxley

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