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Teen Poetry #5
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The Fairytale
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Fairytale |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
The Fairytale Why can't life be a fairytale? And love not hurt so much, not ache so much. Why can't it be a gliding sale? Upon a boat just big enough for two. Only me and only you. Why can't dreams ever come true? And whisper in our warmest nights to make our love right. Why can't wishes carry wings and soar in the blue? Ready to make two souls one. Just like all the lovers once done. Why can't my heart leave me alone just one day? And look for another passerby. Why can't my love be as the poets say? True love. Written by the wings of of a young dove. 8/30/01 I gotta say this isn't one of my best, but I tried. Tell me what you guys think. Thanks  [This message has been edited by Ron (06-25-2011 10:01 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Salooma - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I think the message comes across clear...and I think I like this |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I actually love the style you incorporated in here. I love the poem. thanks for sharing again Salooma keep em coming là où est mon amour? |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Very interesting. Very soft-spoken in it's appearance. I liked it. Jenn "I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..." |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was good, i liked it...the unanswered questions....Well always be curious as too why they get answered. great work! Regina |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I ask those questions everyday. I don't think they'll ever be answered, or answered the way I want them. Great job on the poem. Jon "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
That is really beautiful! I love it, thanx for posting it  ~*~Priscilla~*~ *Nous aimons et nous vivons* |
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NathanS Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106CA |
Very nice I liked it very much, but i think you have a repeated Of at the end.-Dreys |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
yea...why cant life be a fairytale??? I wish it could be too...nice poem! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
yes.... why can't life be that easy..... i would be alot happier if it were...... from me |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
gosh you guys....i didn't expect so much i've gone for a while and didn't check this out...thank you all. you guys are awesome Salma |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
NathanS: thanks for telling me about that of i think i fixed it Salma |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Amazing poem, but ending is abrupt. Maybe a few more verses.....or a change? VERY well done though! I truly loved it.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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