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aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

0 posted 2001-11-08 01:15 AM

I've been reading Romeo & Juliet lately so maybe thats why this sounds a little strange.  I'm not exactly happy with it yet though.

ere at Heaven's door I do stand
right 'fore her very eyes
and hath my breath been stolen
by my Love's sweet gloom
a cloud of blackest doom
doth seem to hang;
her eyes sparkle not
and darken all I see
and voice hath given
away all thoughts held.
O'Graceful Fate, forgivness
I ask.  Why am I taunted so?
What didst i do to deserve
such happenstance. O'Forgiveness,
seek me out.  Wrap me in
your blissful arms.
Show me the path to tread,
so that I may once again
lay with my Love.
and until I hold her near
I shall stand ere
outside Heaven's door
waiting and wondering,
wondering and waiting; Forever more.

ex animo,
       Aaron

There are no great men, only men in great circumstances.

Alyssa

Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!

1 posted 2001-11-08 11:27 AM

hey !!!!!!!! u posted u posted! and im the first to reply! hehe
I liked it..not one of your best in my opinion, but i really did like it!
Email me sometime man!
-amee

3 out of 5 computers bought today will be physically abused by their owners...

the_rescue
Member

since 2001-05-23

Posts 316
Japan

2 posted 2001-11-08 11:50 AM

nice I like it might go do the whole shakespeare thing now lol

we fall like the stars then rise like the sun..Repentence.Forgiveness.We are blame worthy hold us to our wrongs..but don't hold our wrongs against us

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-11-08 01:29 PM

Beautiful. Darkly romantic and fully satisfying. If only Shakespeare had the skill to do what you just did.

Theo

Knight of Secrecy
Member

since 2001-10-12

Posts 113
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-11-08 02:49 PM

Very nice poem. Reminds me of old poets like Poe and Shakespeare. Nicely done

-C.M.

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

5 posted 2001-11-08 05:23 PM

I like the whole Shakespherian-type theme. It gives it a great edge. Nice work!

~*Nikki*~

~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~

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