Teen Poetry #5 |
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The War She Waged |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
falling, falling down the stairs dying, dying, watching all the stares Knowing, knowing that no one cares Completing, Completing a life, deep dispares Saw it falling, knew it happened there Asymptotic, felt it level there Watch the space, juxtaposed, lonely stare Tell me now, it's more than i can bare Severed limbs, dancing round the stage Truth be spoken, assured of early curtain Tightly bound, deeply uttered death be certain Unknowing words were spoken, upon this war she waged 10-29-01 i could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself king of infinite space |
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© Copyright 2001 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved | |||
stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
wow, that was depressing..but yet good. that's really good actually, and its' going into my library. thanks for sharing!! ~*~I'm in love with a man named ZU~*~ *huggles Krissy* |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
another on that left me speechless... wow... *Pixie* |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
i think i like this one, only spent about 3 minutes writting it, wasn't sure how it would turn out. I find the shorter i spend writing the better it is. dang i'm good *LOL* i could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself king of infinite space |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked the first stanza. I felt that you wrote it nicely, and even though the rest of the poem kind of leaves that specific form, it was still an awesome piece. Well done. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Great poem!! I loved how this was worded...great job!!! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
the reason it looses that form is like a slow decline into anarchy and confusion. The more wild and confused the narrator becomes the more disorganized his thought and sentence structure ![]() everyone starts out with organized intentions, then they slowly fade away i could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself king of infinite space |
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