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Streets of Thirst
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Streets of Thirst |
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Knight of Secrecy Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Streets of Thirst If you climb a mountain, would you ask how high it is? Stare at the horizon, Forsake the road Risk instant salvation Just to see the rest of the journey Someday she may understand The middle of the storm is always quiet Spread the wealth of an artificial lord, and give a shallow sing of salvation Freeze their tears and shatter them to inmortality Witness its blooming, entangled in its vines. Independent thought walks the streets of memory Threw the swift breeze of thirst, stumbling with its breath Gasping. One kiss could be our journey, ending in a lie A night on my last hour, stumbled Avoiding another thought, And striving threw the endless Streets of thirst Ok, I have to say this is based on a 'true' story. I used, or tried to use my old style and the style that you have seen in "Jester's Crown" & "My distinction". I think this style is good for a couple more poems. -C.M. [This message has been edited by Knight of Secrecy (edited 10-28-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Carlos Machado - All Rights Reserved | |||
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
i don't think a writer should deliberately try to manipulate their style. a style is something distinctive to each writer, and my personal opinion is that you shouldn't try and switch styles every few poems. just go with the flow, write to express yourself and let everything happen on it's own. for some reason i have a feeling i made no sense whatsoever, but i hope you catch my drift. - jen so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3 |
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Knight of Secrecy Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well jen, you made sense but I have to disagree, eventhough I always write the things how they come out dispite the style, but I believe writers and poets have tastes for their own poems, I like my old style, my change came unconciously but writers should experiment with the way they write because like everything in life, you don't know what you like(are good at) until you try it, some may agree with me, others may not. -C.M. |
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K. Rebel Junior Member
since 2001-10-21
Posts 40San Juan, PR |
i think this is very good and powerful Carlos |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Hmmm...a very thoughtful piece of work you have here. ^_^ Especially in the first stanza: If you climb a mountain, would you ask how high it is? Stare at the horizon, Forsake the road A very professional piece of work, with wonderful vocabulary. I think a poet can do whatever he wants to his style and his poetry. It's a good way to try things out. Give a little freedom, eh? ^_^ Until next time. ++ Leah ++ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
OOOh hey very well done once again carlos..im a fan of your poetry you know that?...loved this one lots...keep them coming, poet! |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I really really like your poems!! Keep it up! ~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I think this style is awesome. I really really liked this one. In fact, it's my favorite poem of yours up until now. I REALLY liked it. You expressed yourself well and the symbolism is fantastic. I think you should write like this as long as you feel like it cuz it's just a nice style and i look forward to more. Adios  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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