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Threaded Water
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Threaded Water |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
It's been a long time since I've actually posted something along the lines of a poem here... makes me feel ancient and in the closet or something like that. ^^ And I haven't replied to all that many, either. ^_^; Sorry 'bout that. I'll try to reply to more poems in the future, but there aren't any that seem like they need replies from The Guy Who Writes the Long Posts. ^_^ hehehe In any case, you're not forced to reply or anything, because I don't reply much myself so I don't expect it. ^_^ Constructive criticism is always welcome if you're willing, however; this one was written about a month ago, so no feelings will be drastically hurt by sharp criticism, so feel free to go all out. ^_^ And I think a few of you might have already read it in private or something if you asked about it. ^_^ Hope you enjoy the read, and best wishes to you all in times to come. ---- Threaded Water September 20, 2001 The sounds sealed in the moonlight are calling, beckoning to me, Tempting me, leading me to something refreshing... something brilliantly new. Teach me about icy-blue thorns on a prismatic blossoming moonlit rose, Recollect, for me a field of flowery violet leaves on branches of cherrywood hue. Liquid cerulean skies hidden behind silver-lined clouds, Under blankets of wisps of air, floating like a lingering breeze... Trees that sway and flowers and butterflies locked in a bittersweet dance, Sweet nectar-flavored raindrops, falling about the ground as they please. Shadows resting forgotten beneath an underbrush of leaves, Memories sealed behind curtains of flowing water, waltzing winds, Secrets sealed in mountains, embedded in stone, in lore beyond recall, Melodies of simple elegant graceful sirens, maidens stained by those who have sinned. Echoes calling far from beyond the edges of a forgotten cluster of stars, Cries of a child, still unborn, hiding within its mother's womb... Calls of sorrow from a willow, still weeping and mourning a mysterious omen, Teardrops flowing steadily, its sound traced to below a hero's tomb. Voices, dreamy echoing sighs are calling out to someone... out to something, Trying to reach to a wanderer, a dreamer suspended at its neck by a silver rope, Seeking out an angel, trapped in a body wearing subtlty shredded wings, They call out, continue calling out, reaching out to their last remembered hope. Warn those who listen of how these echoes seem to blend together, Sights steadily blend with your emotions, and like sounds they tend to seem... Admire the voices under the magical twilight, an expansive sea of glittering stars, And allow your heart to wander beneath the threads of water, beneath the waves of dreams. [This message has been edited by holatuwol (edited 10-19-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 MinhChau Dang - All Rights Reserved | |||
Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Beautifully done!! Charisma |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
My turn to rave about your poetry... YOU POSTED IT!!! YOU POSTED IT!!! ^____^ Do you know how overly excited and extremely happy I am??? YOU POSTED IT!!! I love this one! (you couldn't tell, could you now? oO; Hehe.) You use such incredibly beautiful words...so graceful and fluid. It totally matches the tone of this poem..."Treaded water". And you have astonishing vocab that's just...it just does so much for the poem! I envy your vocabulary. ^^; I want your dictionary...lol. I know we already talked about this, but...the way you just seem to not care about meter or anything, except making them rhyme and make sense...it gives me a whole new outlook on what poetry is, and can be. And your imagery...it's so serene and perfect...if not perfect, close enough to it. I've never read anything so beautiful, and so vivid in image and language... "Cries of a child, still unborn, hiding within its mother's womb..." Such a haunting thought, and yet so memorable. It still sends shivers up my spine. If I haven't said it, or made it clear to you now...I LOVE YOUR POETRY!!! ^____^ All hail MC! lol. I'm still pleased that you decided to post it, and share it with us all. Many thanks to you! I'll keep this in my library in case i lose my precious copy that I have already...muahaha.  Talk to ya later! ++ Leah ++ ps- I think your long replies are doing something to me...oO; hehe. Evil...evil and hideous! Bah...^_^ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
Glad to see you posting again MC. Its been awhile since ive read any of your poetry and ive missed it. Im gonna have to start bugging you for it again. *nod* anyways, i loved this. i think you did a wonderful job, as always. Ive always enjoyed your poems and i hope to continue doing so *cough*postmore*CougH* this is in my library. *claps* tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Wow, the imagery in this one was so amazing. Great work. ~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~ |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
amazingly written...man LOVED this piece...elegant imagery...beautiful simply wonderful. GREAT work, MC. "This little light of mine...im gonna let it shine. *sighs* Let it shine...let it shine. Let it shine." |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
Cries of a child, still unborn, hiding within its mother's womb. *chokes*....aw man ...i love this MC!!! it totally took my breath away  ...you could have killed me buddy! seriously though, i think you did an excellent job on the imagery within this-- you have a very beautiful vocab you know that? this is going into my library  keep sharing buddy!see the glass crack like a flower opening |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I love the entire thing! Glad you posted it! If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward. |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
*cough* dont eet me mc :p just want more ppl to read this.. yea *agree self* oh, and btw.. wut happened to the series of collabs u and leah were like gonna do or w/e. *ish very interested in em* “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this very much. You did a very fine job in expressing yourself here. Wonderful man. |
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