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hoppy
Member

since 2000-01-27

Posts 271

0 posted 2001-10-26 12:41 PM

i died tonight
i heard your word
looked in your eyes
lost my sight
while dry tears fell
on empty ears
i couldn't save you
so i let you be
what can i do
but give you a tear
so you'll remember me

---Written by:Hoppy

i could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself king of infinite space

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

1 posted 2001-10-26 07:53 AM

Very intriguing..I liked it a lot. Quite emotional.

Jenn

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2001-10-26 01:48 PM

This poem was so sad...i sometimes feel like i die in such situations...but what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger they say...i enjoyed this...nicely written

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

3 posted 2001-10-26 09:38 PM

"what can i do
but give you a tear
so you'll remember me"

This last bit just got me. Wow, so great! Excellent!

Love me, because I am great (greater than Zu, anyway!)

Barelybreathing
Junior Member

since 2000-04-26

Posts 46

4 posted 2001-10-27 05:21 PM

This was great...I luved it..keep writing

'The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one's own.'
~Montaigne~

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

5 posted 2001-10-27 09:07 PM

Wow, wow, wow... I loved it!

There are always answers as long as you're open enough to accept the answers you were not looking for.

jaimespoetry.blogspot.com

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

6 posted 2001-10-28 03:42 PM

lost my sight
while dry tears fell
on empty ears

i love that part. very emotional piece, i enjoyed it a lot. i'm not sure that i liked the last few lines that much, but maybe that's just me.

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3

Pixie-Babe03
Member

since 2000-08-29

Posts 387
Central Maine

7 posted 2001-10-28 03:52 PM

wow this is beautiful, i can relate to it very well... keep it up

*Pixie*

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

8 posted 2001-10-28 06:08 PM

Beautiful poem I loved it was very emotional.Keep up the awsome work.
Lauren

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

9 posted 2001-10-29 01:00 AM

hey,
well that was pretty dam good if i do say so myself. i like it the way it is, and can't give any decent advice on how to aprove it. go you! yay.
-bergundy-

i'm a penguin! i'm a penguin! i'm a cute lil penguiiiin! i'm a penguin i'm a penguin! i eat FISH!--tis the pretty penguin song

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