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Teen Poetry #5
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Autumn Dreams
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Autumn Dreams |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
A finger pushed against the lips of one Silence follows a hush, a whisper in the wind... Eyes follow the birds in the jaded sky Oh....to fly away with them one last time. An upturned face, so delicate it seems Full of wonder, gazing at the floating things Gliding in the wind, against the wild, blue yonder, Waiting for the songs, a song that they will sing. Following the dancing wind to the fields golden hued He chases yellow butterflies, getting lost within his dream Blindfolded, walking, he wanders, silent, still.. Wishing with all his little might that all was what it seemed. + + + + + If you live somewhere in the northern prairies, you will know what I mean...for the others, a little taste of autumn from my heart to yours. Enjoy. ^_^ ++ Leah ++ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Knight of Secrecy Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very cool poem, "Following the dancing wind to the fields golden hued" Beautifull line, Very nice poem -CM. |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
So that's why you were painting autumn images! *_* This poem rocked! I loved the ending! Hee! ^^ Kawaii poem! Should I make this a short reply? *considers* Yeah! I think I should. Loved the poem! ^___^ - holatuwol PS: In case you think that I'm really going to let this poem get by with a short response, you've got another thing coming to you. I'm going to give this poem such a long reply that... Moderator: Can you PLEASE get to the point? We have other replies to read through! ... Sheesh, people these days ... just reply... x_X; Ahem. Anyways, getting into a serious reply... Eventhough it's something that sort of happens all the time with blindfolded daydreams and whatnot... it really really made the poem seem as though it was reaching out to touch someone's heart rather than just describing a pretty autumn setting. ^_^ And so, the echo reaches your heart, which is really hard to do... sugoi. ^_^ The flow was excellent and the title has it's kawaiiness charm. Better than anything I could write... and it seems really innocent and the flow seems to add to that fact by making it seem really wistful, like dancing autumn leaves. ^_^ And the echo seems as though it's surreal and dreamlike... making the title fit perfectly. I thought you did majorly good on this one. Thankies for the read! I will rave about your poetry later or something because otherwise, my reply will actually not seem so short any more. *snicker* ^_^v Until next time! - holatuwol, signing again coz he wants to [This message has been edited by holatuwol (edited 10-17-2001).] |
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never_a_princess Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82Show Me the Money |
Love the imagery you used! It painted a beautiful picture in my mind! "Eyes follow the birds in the jaded sky." I loved that line. Something about the "jaded sky" that made it so lovely I think. Good poem! __o0o_Anna_o0o__ *waves* Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Hmmm...I have this weird urge to visit these Northern prairies you speak of. Actually, I feel like I've already seen it thanks to your poem's impressive imagery. I guess I'll end this puny reply with a  "and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
i enjoyed the imagery in this piece. i do live on the northern praries [canadian praries], so i know exactly what you're talking about. - jen so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3 |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Never have i heard Autumn described in such a way before...very nice I enjoyed it a lot hun!ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wOW...such exquiste imagery and beautiful discriptions...REALLY youd ont ahve to write about me like this...J/k!  well, anyways...enjoyed, as always. ke ai.=) |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Ahh Autumn is a beautiful season and you've described it well, Leah. I felt like I was there, seeing what you could see. Thanks for sharing this. To read something so calming was needed. ~AF~ "I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
my GEEZ!!! you are so awesome I just LOVE your writing *Standing Ovation* <--- as usuall là où est mon amour? |
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