Teen Poetry #5 |
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Always and Forever |
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Powder Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 20Illinois, USA |
I wrote this poem a little while ago so just tell me how you think it is and how you think I can fix it. Oh just so you know, the "forbidden love" refers to the fact that I am a guy and the poem is written for my boyfriend-not exactly status quo. The part about being ripped apart is that his family found out and unlike my family, his freaked out and he is not allowed to see me. I don't know why, but I need to be around you I need to feel your heart close to mine I don't know why, but I need you in my life I need to know that you will be there for me You have come and turned everything around Things are so much better because of you You have come and given me so much So much that I can never repay you Why do you risk so much for me Because of me, you can lose everything Why do you risk so much for love The love that is the hardest of all How can life be so cruel to our love Our love that seems so forbidden How can life let us be together And then rip us apart so quickly I want you to come, to walk with me To walk away from everything in life I want you to come, to stay with me To be with me always and forever |
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© Copyright 2001 Adam Cebulski - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
That's so sad! That is just so sad! If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward. |
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Charisma![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
heartfelled penned...wish that it once will be "Always and Forever" for you and your love. ((warm hugs)) Charisma |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Wow...this is so touching. I can't believe they won't let him see you! Completely and utterly ridiculous. I hope that things work out for you. You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself. Take care and good work. ~AF~ "I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you" |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was an absolutely amazing poem Powder..i hope that one day you and your love can be together. ::hugs:: Very touching...U certaintly do have talent ![]() ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Wow - if this is how you feel then you definately have something to hold on to... I hope everything will work out with you.. ~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~ |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought the poem was well done. A typical topic to write about and you did just fine with it. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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