Teen Poetry #5 |
All Poets Endeavor |
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Now that I know true love I attempt the poets choir Even though none have rendered Something to not inquire I know not all poets try this, but just bear with me a'ight? True love is a connection rare Which happens not twice in life’s care Where one of two doesn’t need to share When ideas vanish of being a pair Words we spoke quoted from Poe It mattered not the words of woe True love can happen with anything in tow On Monet’s lily pond, the boat you row But it involves no effort at all Nor giving nor taking, or wall It just happens; you don’t hear any call It doesn’t make you walk a hall True love is an open space The most perfect of any place A rapport with another loving face On a level none could ever trace (Authors note) My futile endeavor is at an end But as a poet I continued the trend I thought I could hopefully send You some thoughts to comprehend No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
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© Copyright 2001 Bryan W. Holmes - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I like it. The format confused me (what's a poet's choir?), but even in my confusion I know a good poem when I see one. This one's happier!! Good write, once again! Rhonda "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Ahh yes Love. Such an amazing thing. Beautifully written Bryan. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow!...youw rote this very nicely...the flow was great!...and this had a lot of emaning behind it...a beautiful job!..keepw ritin im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
W W!! You never cease to amaze me with your words, Bryan... This was absolutely indescribably awesome! I like the allusions you used as well, they were a very nice touch! Keep up the ass-kicking work! , Sara "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
I liked it but I think we could have done wihtout the disclaimers. It takes the focus away from the piece itself. Good job! |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I loved it. I thought it was interesting how you wrote a little note at the end. It was kinda humorous or something. Great job! *Amanda* |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
I just have ot say to Brad Majors, that the one line disclaimer there nt he bginning...Id ont know why that's there. It was meant to be int he beginning BEFORE that stanza but oh well. Anyway, about your name - very cool No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I'm going to be the bad guy here, but I didn't like this. I think you've written better pieces that I have enjoyed. I didn't agree with the message. The lines that say: "True love is a connection rare/Which happens not twice in life’s care." I don't agree with that. I think that true love can happen as many times as one would allow it to happen. And when you say it involves no effort, that is another thing I don't agree with. Love takes lots of effort from both people. I'm sorry to be the bad guy, but I didn't like this as much as your other pieces. Thanks for sharing this with us. Keep posting all your work. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here. I enjoyed this poem. Not as good as some of the others I've read by you, but still very good. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I enjoyed the read. I'm not particularly fond of the rhyme scheme, but still a great read. Thanks for sharing hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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