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Teen Poetry #5
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A Mistaken Love
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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A Mistaken Love |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
I think about you all the time, loving you is such a crime. 'Cuz I know if we go out, you'll play, just play my heart, and tear me apart. But when I'm with you, I can't help but fall in love too. I know you don't love me, love me, please, why can't you see? Your sweet blue eyes just pull me in, this cannot be a sin. I thought I was mistaken, not mistaken, it's MY heart you're breakin.  Did u ever have the feeling that he meant everything 2 u, yet u meant nothing 2 him?.....~me ~I'm breathing u ing and i'm breathing u out!~ 7channels [This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (edited 10-07-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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NathanS Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106CA |
Nice poem  I enjoyed the read, i especially liked the line"I thought I was mistaken, not mistaken, it's MY heart you're breakin." |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
I was a little confused by this poem, you don't ryhme the last two lines of the verse in the first stanza but you do in the second and last it's usually better to stick to rhyming or non-rhhyming I feel unless the rhyme is unintentional But I have a feeling it was meant to be. Apart from that I have to say that this poem is most wonderful Zu "Ph33r Me I eat N00bies Ph0R bReakFAsT" |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
 thanks guys i appreciate the replies...! Zu, on the first stanza, idk wat happened, but i guess i didnt realize it until it was 2 late...o well...i'll fix it in my next poeM! thanks though, much appreciated Did u ever have the feeling that he meant everything 2 u, yet u meant nothing 2 him?.....~me ~I keep on falling in and out of love with u~Alicia Keys [This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (edited 10-07-2001).] |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
SG....it seems like he's goign to be up to his old tricks huh? enjoyed the read, i hope things work out. wouldnt it be wonderful if children werent scared of looking up at the sky? |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
I liked it and apart from what Zu mentioned I thought it was a very enjoyable read. Ex Animo, Aaron I had a nice poem by Robert Frost here but it was too long. :( so... "Don't believe what everyone else says, think it through for yourself if you wan |
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~gretchenp34~ Junior Member
since 2001-10-08
Posts 46Ohio, USA |
wow this is really good!!!! i like it alot!!!! |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
gurlie..i love ya!! friends 4eva! hold ur head up *high* and fight ur way through! you no U CAN DO IT!!! muahha this was a good read other than that one stanza though..member im alwayz here to talkz to ya!! dont worreee u'll find sumone better than that blue eyed NBH!!! *sowweee everyone inside joke* hehe keep writing it helps!! lylas ~Jess~ ~*~How can we be friends if everytime I think of you I know that's all we'll ever be~*~ |
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Punk Angel Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 66Pennsylvania, US |
hey mad cow hows it shakin? this is a really great poem, but im juss curious, is it bout eric? jw!!!!! We love what is lost, but does what we lost love us back?? |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Loved the read, you don't need him, guys like that are SCUM!!! (Not that I know from experience or anything... *mumble mumble*) If you define cowardice as running away and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward. |
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