Teen Poetry #5 |
![]() ![]() |
Stupid Black H le |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
Wallflower New Member
since 2002-05-20
Posts 3VA/US |
Trying to love myself is like trying to love a black h le Every bit of raw energy put into confidence is f i z z l e d away, with just one suck of a mighty vacuum. I b e g i n to think good thoughts, they slowly creep in and all of a sudden jump out, Maybe it’s just a sugar high? They don’t last long short lovely over Stupid black h le [This message has been edited by Wallflower (05-20-2002 11:20 PM).] |
||
© Copyright 2002 Brandi - All Rights Reserved | |||
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
welcome to PIP brandi. very interesting and creative format. and I love your critique message. I think you wrote this well and love the idea behind it. Nice write. ~tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
||
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
welcome! i liked this too - leaving out the "o" was inspired! Christopher |
||
kaile![]() ![]()
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hmmmm..i like e.e. cummings and i certainly appreciate this...though i get to play the dumb one here ![]() welcome to passions, i hope you'll stay a while and have lots and lots of fun... p/s: check your email for a special greeting! |
||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
this is cool...very innovative - nice use of spaciality through this piece... thanks to C for pointing it out to me.. ![]() |
||
devil_tongue Member
since 2000-03-02
Posts 50 |
This reminds me quite a bit of another members style of writing here. Nonetheless, welcome to the blue pages of PIP. You've written an interesting first post with a refreshing format which is always welcome. The content itself is deep enough to provoke images of a subtle nature. Well done. |
||
bsquirrel![]()
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Welcome! At first I thought it was "Stupid black hello" and I thought -- how awesome that a hello can be black. Then I realized y' meant hole. So ... uh .... enjoyed th' poem. Nice searching yr doin' here. She said burn ... together. |
||
Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
See Brandi, I told you this place was awesome ![]() As far as the piece goes, like I said the first time I saw it, it's awesome because it has so much of your distinct style in it. Great Job. |
||
xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! First of all this piece rocked...it was absolutely amazing!!!! In all honesty i started reading this poem without taking any notice to who the member was and throught the poem i had no doubt in my mind it was one of our long existing member's poems..but i, to my suprise, find out its really a newbies poem!! I was blown away ![]() ![]() iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf.. |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I had to look at the title twice, and then "duh" it hit me, so I enjoyed the fact that I knew where you were going with the title before I read the poem, which impressed me by the formatting...you took an idea and gave it a frame...well done! |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |