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Teen Poetry #5
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Dreamscape #2- Impression of Glass
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Dreamscape #2- Impression of Glass |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Impression of Glass I saw my breath upon the windowpane, My fingerprints etched with the heat of time. Looking in, I saw my own reflection, Against the beading of the rain... An echo of my own tears. The glass no longer reflected my dreams The windowsill no longer a step higher to the clouds. The curtain now pulled shut I can no longer gaze into empty silence. I stare for hours in the mirror Gazing at my reflection. No thought of beauty here, nor body, mind, Or spirit... Just visions of frame and glass. Pieces break, a puzzled sound That drop upon the floor Broken... Shattered... I am but a reflection of glass no longer. ===== I haven't been writing much lately now that school has started. Plus, I think my visits to pip have dwindled enormously.  I'm sorry if I haven't been replying to a lot of the poetry here, or interacting enough with you all. Lately, everything I've done over the summer has been pushed down while other priorities have been pushed up. I will still appear on weekends or even on weekdays if possible. Don't lose faith, my friends, I'll be back one day...muahaha.  Oh, if any of you want to talk to me, my AIM s/n is Min Kaimadae (watch the spelling...), or [email protected] on msn in case I can't hear from you all in Discussion. Peace and love to all!   -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... [This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 09-07-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
wow! this was incredlibe...the emotion it stirred in me was...well, let's just say that hits close to home. great job! me |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was very good Leah. I was like WOW!  a definte library piece.Regina |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Good work! You're as good as they said! |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
this was really good.. i really enjoyed it. thanks for sharing Life is an open book with many unwritten pages, write something that's meaningful to you there. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
VERY sad tone in this piece...shows the somewhat "nothingness"...i really liked it...and well written as always...and LOVE your new sn!...LOL  [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 09-08-2001).] |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
You better be coming back. I'll hunt you down and steal your legs if you don't! Now at the moment I feel like giving you a long reply.  "I saw my breath upon the windowpane, My fingerprints etched with the heat of time. Looking in, I saw my own reflection, Against the beading of the rain... An echo of my own tears." The opening line makes the piece appear calm and throws off the feeling of serenity. The way you move from seeing your breath to the description of the rain was very well done. You moved it with such ease but kept the mood of the poem. "The glass no longer reflected my dreams The windowsill no longer a step higher to the clouds. The curtain now pulled shut I can no longer gaze into empty silence." This made me really sad for the simple fact that sight be hindered by a mere curtain is frustrating especially when your dreams were reflected in glass. "I can no longer gaze into empty silence" was a great way of expressing how you can't sit there and stare at nothing for hours on end. "I stare for hours in the mirror Gazing at my reflection. No thought of beauty here, nor body, mind, Or spirit... Just visions of frame and glass." It's odd how a person can go from seeing themselves in glass instead of a mirror. Do you think perhaps this is because with a mirror, you see what you are but with a glass window, you can see what you want. You can distort the image with whatever is outside? That part I liked for it got me thinking. "Pieces break, a puzzled sound That drop upon the floor Broken... Shattered..." You broke the mirror. The final note in ourselves that says, 'No, I don't want to look at what I am, what I have become.' I also took this as you breaking. Parts of you shattering and dropping on the floor. Overall, excellent piece as per usual. I found I could relate to this a little more than the others you have written. You rock. ~AF~ "Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Awesome job on this one, but what is to be expected from you? I enjoyed it immensely.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Damn Leah, if I only had half your talent This is simply amazingly perfect You definitely have the skills Excellent read, thanks keep em coming hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
Leah, this was amazing, I love it! there is so much emotion here... this is certainly one for the library. Thanks for posting, Sarah *the chains which once held us are only the chains which we've made* |
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